Senior driver's evaluation; Not really a question, but some interesting stuff.

In Texas, if you pass the eye exam they’ll renew you license for 2 more years. But before I knew this, I asked dad if they tested him before renewing his license and he said yes AND that he’d passed. He didn’t want me to know that he was not required to retake an actual driving test. At 87 dad was still riding his Honda 600 and driving his van. Obviously dad was in excellent shape for his age. I had also riden with him and he did well until his early 90’s. He only drove to church, grocery store, and my house every evening for dinner. Then I started noticing scratches and dents on his van and he told me they’d been there for some time and I just never noticed. Well my sweet dad was being less than honest. Yes taking away his freedom felt like betrayal and certainly one of the most difficult things I had ever done up to that point. It was the first of many freedoms that I would be tasked with relinquishing. During a trip to visit my son and family I received a call from his in home caregiver. This day, dad refused to let his caregiver drive. In a parking lot, he hit an oncoming car and a parked car at the same time. We had a frank discussion when we returned and after 2 hours of asking him to give me his keys, I literally had to reach into his pocket and take the keys from him. It was awful. He denied the caregiver’s accounting of the accident wherein he left the scene without leaving a note on the parked vehicle or exchanging information with the other driver. Once I had the remote and his keys and was ready to leave, he proudly announced that he had a spare set of keys. Having no more patience my husband and I took the battery from the vehicle and went home. A few days later we drove the van to our house where it remained until we sold it. For about 60 days I had to endure countless phone calls requesting the return of his vehicle and he made many calls to my sibling complaining about me. It also meant I was now responsible for running his errands... no good deed goes unpunished. As much as I despise government regulations, each and every state would be doing everyone a great service if at age 80 they required the same test we put our teenagers through before licensure. But until this happens we have to be the “bad guys”. But I looked at it as saving lives and avoiding a potential law suit. Later that same year, upon moving to an AL facility, he would introduce me as, “the one who took his van and sold his house”. Yes indeed, I no longer had my birth name and received nasty looks from dad’s new friends. Oh well. If your state doesn’t test the elderly, do yourself and everyone else on the road a favor and get your aging, elderly loved one off the road.

God bless family members who have sense enough to protect their loved ones, and the lives of others by stepping in to prevent tragedy by motor vehicles!
my dear dad, age 80 with dementia, simply refused to give up driving. His brave doctor in NY suspended his license but he continued to hop in the car and lie about driving. We recently moved him to be closer to family out-of-state, and lo and behold, he’s applying for a new license, lying on the form where it asks “is your license suspended in another state.” He thinks no one will find out. The form is long and he can’t fill it out correctly, and as his daughter, I cannot in good faith allow him to get behind the wheel.
This is an ongoing saga, and I understand he needs to feel independent, but my advice- please look out for the safety of others. A car is like a loaded gun... capable of destruction when put into the wrong hands!

You're right, there's no question at all- as painful as it may be, as many fights as it may cause, there comes a time when you have to step in and "be the grownup" when someone is in complete and utter denial about their driving ability or lack thereof. Add dementia to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster. I don't even see the need to bother with the DMV and evals, etc. As many other posters have mentioned, and my Dad's own neurologist said, and I quote, "Disable the car or sell it, then lie. Period."
You should've heard the language (from a man who once abhorred foul language) when Dad was told the first time by the Dr he really couldn't drive anymore. It didn't matter that he had no idea what to do at a gas station, couldn't even back the car out of the garage or pull it in without hitting the doorframe, or that the mystery scratches kept appearing- No amount of talking to him about it worked; he just turned around and accused me or my cousin of damaging his car. Of course we seldom, if ever, drove it, but in his world, he's the best driver there is, and it just isn't possible that he would do something like that, and "I know what I'm doing! YOU are screwed up in the head."
As you good folks know- with dementia, no amount of reasoning, logic, threats, showing them the damage they caused, etc, works, and even if:
Your state does have an elder evaluation, or
The Doc writes a "prescription" for you to post on the fridge telling them they can't drive anymore (that will just get ripped up and thrown away, anyway}, or if
You know police officers personally and have them come to your house and TELL the person they can't drive anymore (!)...

It's all for naught, as they just won't and can't remember that ANY of that even happened in the first place, and they think it's all just lies anyway. So we hid the keys, and came up with all kinds of excuses, and that was fine, until...

Let me just warn you that you had better make sure you know about any and all sets of spare keys/fobs there might be kicking around! Just disable the car or get rid of it!! I thought there were only 2 sets of keys, and they were well hidden and stayed hidden. One day, (before he had declined further and needed all day aides) while I was away and my cousin (we live with Dad) was upstairs, Dad found another fob that we didn't even know about that got him in the car, and since it had push-button start, that was all he needed to take off and GO. Dad disappeared, and was gone for almost 48 hours. I cannot even begin to describe to you all how it felt to drive around sobbing, looking DESPERATELY for someone for hours on end, and to drive under the highway information sign with the silver alert for your own missing parent. I wanted to die, and I aged at least 25 years in the span between finding him missing, and the police finding him in New Hope, Pa on the side of the road, cold, out of gas, hungry, and completely off the rails (It's truly amazing what 2 days without the exelon patch will do to someone that has been using it consistently- He was hallucinating and lost the ablilty to even form sentences on the way back home. Back to an even keel just 1 day back on!)
Of course, he had to have a hybrid vehicle that gets GREAT gas mileage, making it take as long as possible (and take him as far away as possible) to run out of gas. We're from Long Island. Thank God the tank wasn't full. God only knows how very grateful we are that he wasn't in an accident. I and my family owe the good police who found him and took him to the station, fed him and kept him company my heart and sanity. We also owe God and the angel that must've accompanied him. Now I'm crying as I type this to you and I REPEAT-
Forget the DMV. Forget the Doctor, police, anybody telling them anything. For God's sake, forget "How would YOU feel, losing your independence, dignity, blahblahblah." STOP THEM AT ANY COST, before very, very bad things (that can and will) happen.

Great post with lots of good information! As long as a person whose driving skills are believed to be impaired will go along with having these tests, it’s all good. However, what worries me is that someone with or without dementia would be stubborn enough to believe they don’t need to be tested and just hop in the car and go. That’s why I think it’s still a good idea to actually disable the car. Thanks for yiur post. Very interesting!

In Virginina you can fill out a DMV form that triggers a driver investigation--family members or doctors can remain confidential. I reported my 91 year old mother because she's had strokes and dementia, can no longer follow conversations or news stories, gets stuck on most websites and gets lost when driving on unfamiliar roads. She'd lock me out of her life if I tried to talk about her driving with her. She's had at least two speeding tickets within a month on local streets and is terrifying on freeways, driving between 65 and 92 mph in 55 mph zones. Once I sent the report, someone from the DMV called me to discuss it and at the end of the conversation said that my mother would be getting a letter requiring her to get a medical check up as well as written and driving tests. I thought about it for a long time before sending the letter but finally did mail it because she came within a hair of smashing me into a concrete highway divider at 92 mph on a long trip. Of course I don't want her to hurt anyone so it seemed time to ask the DMV to take an official look. The whole thing is still in process.

Thank you for posting this.
I believe the DMV needs to offer a nationwide marketing blast (from billboards to mailers) informing everyone that these tests are not only available, they are essential to the safety of all concerned - the driver, other drivers on the road - all pedestriains walking or near a car (people/kids on bikes, motorcycles). One of the most difficult aspects of an elder or anyone with dementia losing independence is their losing their ability to drive and their insistence (and fight) that they can drive okay. If necessary unplug or take out the part in the car that won't allow a person to drive. I've known elders (clients) who call the police (on their own adult children) complaining of their car not starting or a loved one took their keys away - or they hide the extra set of keys. Many elders will fight 'til the end' to continue to drive - putting themselves and everyone else at risk. Gena

The Guardian is her guardian because a judge felt she can no longer make informed decisions. So, the guardian has the power to take her license and keys.

I wish we had done this with my mother in law. She is angry because her daughter took her car away several years ago. She's 96 and nearly blind. She had lost driving privileges while being treated for seizures and was ok with that. She bullied my husband to take her to the DMV and reapply. He did, never imaging that she would get her license back. She did. Her daughter had to step in. Now she stays mad at the daughter and my husband feels bad about his part in this.
My mom lives a few hours away and had hers revoked by the state after they receiving a letter from a local policeman (bless that man). She had to take the written and driving test and could not pass (several times). We are in Texas.

I understand that sometimes physical and mental issues make driving impossible. However, BEFORE you take the privilege of driving a car away from someone, YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN YOU CAN PROVIDE AN ALTERNATIVE MEANS TO THEM FOR ACCOMPLISHING WHAT THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO IF THEY WERE DRIVING. If you don't do this, it is cruel and sadistic to the ex-driver and many problems will come up. Don't take something away, even with a very valid reason, unless you replace it with a suitable alternative - and keep your word.

Thanks for the info. Let us know how it goes. People do not realize how complicated driving is when it is done right. This is why doing anything else (phone, eating, etc) while driving is not a good idea.