Specifically, like actively moving limbs while dreaming or shaking all over during sleep? Sometimes my dad will moan in a very small voice as if he is trying to wake up from a nightmare. He dreams seemingly horrible dreams. But, if I wake him up, he doesn't seem upset by them at all. He has been shaking all over in his sleep recently. Upon waking--nothing out of the ordinary. Never seen anyone sleep the way he does, as he is so active in sleep & so hard to awaken. When he does wake up--he is so startled he jumps & looks terrified for a moment. The latter, he has always done when woken up. Weird, huh? blou
When my mom was here visiting this summer. I reached over in the car one day and patted her arm, and she said, "You know since your dad died no one touches me. I really miss it." So we need to do more hugging too! Especially, when someone has lost their special loved one and is alone.
At first they were pretty surprised when I told them I loved them, and I have to admit it was quite a few years before the culture of our family changed... so that others, besides just me were saying it. It was awkward, but eventually it happened and it lightened everything.
However, someone on this site reminded me to tell my mom that I love her and to hug her every day that I could, not matter how difficult that may be. I tried and I have to say that was the BEST advice I ever got. Now that both my parents are gone, I rest easy, knowing they knew ...
If it is to tell your parents you love them, or to say that you appreciate what they did for you as a child, even if it wasn't loving, but it was to feed you and keep you warm, I am forever thankful to the person who told me to show my appreciation while I could, because some day they will be gone.
My dad also told me that he talked to his mom every week (she lived in Switzerland) and one day, she was gone and he couldn't speak to her anymore and that was so final. I appreciate that I was warned about that and told to be thoughtful about what should be said and done with the people who will be leaving us one day.
I wish everyone on this site the best and know that it's a challenging journey for us all. My heart goes out to those who are working hard on this challenging path.
A few times, in the beginning we called 911 and he was brought to the hospital for a check up. He was always fine later and as a matter of fact, as my dad aged, he became nicer, kinder, smiled more easily. Finally after a few trips to the hospital, he instructed us not to call 911. Each time it happened, he eventually woke up and never remembered any problem.
He lived this way for many years. During his last evening, he told me to notice how well everything turned out and he was very happy and content. It was his 57th wedding anniversary and he was surrounded by his loving family. The next morning, he didn't wake up at all.
I just want to assure you that this process occurred over many years and my dad was comfortable, happy and had all his wits about him the whole time.
Just be sure to tell your Dad that you love him every day and hug him when ever you can.
Finally about 2 a.m. we went to bed. The next day he did not remember anything and slept most of day.
Back to my husband, who has has Lewy Body Dementia. His sleeping activity was so violent I'd kicked and punched, because he is often fighting off people attacking him (BTW - he always wanted to be a cop). It wasn't always violent. Sometimes he would just start laughing and laughing. When I threatened to sleep in a different bed, he started sleeping with his back to me. This help some. Once he got diagnosed, after 7 years and 5 doctors, his neurologist prescribed Gabapentin, which is used for seizures. It works like a charm. I guess it relaxes his muscles. He still has the dreams, but his movements are more subdued. I haven't been punched in years.
Bloujeanbaby, since your profile says your father has Alzheimer/dementia and this is a symptom of LBD it is important that you get the correct diagnosis. So definitely discuss it with his doctor. Some meds that work for LBD don't for Alz and viceversa. LBD also has some Parkinson-like symptoms and some meds that work for that don't work for LBD and yet those LBD gets diagnosed as Parkinsons. It's important to get a doctor who knows the difference and many don't.
I agree with the others. One of my best friends and I joined some other ladies for some R&R many years ago (I think in another life!). After the first night, I asked my friend if she knew that she never really slept. She was doing things exactly like the ones you describe. She even joined me while I was watching TV and carried on a conversation. She said that her husband and daughter are so used to it now that it is no big deal!? She has even turned over nightstands and broken lamps before. Her doctors say it is because she is so heavily medicated at night. The only real sleep she gets is during her afternoon nap.
Your dad's situation sounds more like the other postings have said. You might consider having his medications checked, though. It wouldn't hurt.
You are a very observant and sensitive daughter. You did the right thing by asking about his behavior. I wish you well.
I definitely think you should describe this to the doctor who is treating his dementia.