I love my wife of 58+ years with unexplained depth. She has advanced Alzheimer's, multiple personality, and bi-polar. We are in our 80's. A beautiful woman who gave me 3 wonderful children plus ours (I consider them all mine and I am Dad. She has had multiple love affairs (1st 30 years of or marriage and before, I was one). Always came back to me. I always forgave. She and our family are precious to me.
In my profession, I travelled frequently. 33 years ago, she left me for a man 20 years her junior. 7 months later, I was forced out of my job and moved to CA where coincidentally, she lived. I asked her to return to me and she did. Without telling me, she met with him to collect her things. He beat her, violently raped her, and dumped her on my doorstep. (I am a trained martial artist with over 20 years Seal envolvement). I took her to ER where they took 4 hours to stop her bleeding. She would not tell them his name. DR said she was so torn up inside that he doubted she could have sex and probably would not want too.
I believe fully in Jesus. At first, I planned to find him and kill him violently. But in prayer, I was told to walk away from him. For the next 30+ years, we have lived happily together. 12 years ago Drs diagnosed her with Alzheimer's. She is now in advanced stage and I am her caregiver. Our children tell me to put her in a care home. It is so hard but I finally agreed. That is happening shortly.
Now What?
And it may be time that you take care of yourself as well. God bless you.
"Now what" is a very broad question. Now what emotionally? Now what do I do with myself? Yes, it is a profound change in your life. Create a plan for your own decline and exit. Be responsible and make sure all your legal protections are place, as this benefits you and is merciful to your children. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Go and help others with the time and energy you were spending on your wife. Pass hope and love on to those who have neither. Blessings to you xoxo