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I was told that in Illinois because the two structures are connected and not free standing, the staffing on The “assisted” side does not have nurses. I feel that makes it an “independent” facility instead. My mom knew if she couldn’t do EVERYTHING for herself, they would move her to the nursing side which in my understanding is for people with more serious health issues and need way more care. I feel my mom is between the two. She needs memory care and some assistance with daily tasks. Because she got placed on the nursing side, I feel she is frustrated, sad and withering away but the staff is not “allowed” to take her down the hall to visit with her friends on the “assisted” side. What are my options??? I hate seeing my mom placed with people who are mostly out of it.

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Dear Rosiepie, please get mom a different place to live, cuz she will likely deteriorate otherwise. I think your assessment is right, & you could locate a better facility, more appropriate for ur mom. They may cost a lot more, if they offer more. Start visiting some, get tours, & talk to the residents (when staff isn't around). Your mom may want to go along too. [Warning: only what's 'in writing' is guaranteed...] &the admissions person is basically a salesperson trying to get patients who can pay the fare. Beware of slick talk.
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Rosiepie Aug 2019
Thank you. My sister who is poa refuses to go visit and move my mom. So frustrated. I’m also concerned about the other facilities just telling me what I want to hear to get the revenue.
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I moved my mom to Virginia from Illinois where she was in assisted living. She had nurses 24/7. They passed meds, checked on her, knew their residents. I should have left her in Illinois though because now that she needs a nursing home they’re far & few between. In Illinois you can be in assisted living in Medicaid. You can’t in Virginia.
Why does she need the memory care vs assisted living????
I was born & raised in Peoria, Illinois, any questions, message me.
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Rosiepie Aug 2019
My mom has been on her own since she was 56 when my dad died. Small home small town. Everyone knows her. My sister lives nearby. Her daughter in law works in the nursing home. My mom is now 100 and I believe wanted to die in her own home rather than go to the nursing home where her freedom would be limited. She began losing some memory and stopped eating (not sure why) but when we took her to the nursing home for evaluation they kept her there. No closure with her own home. Now that she has had meals and Excercise her brain is so much better and she sad and mad that we moved her to the “nursing” side rather than the assisted side. But because they don’t staff nurses on the assisted side she’s stuck. She doesn’t take meds and has no illnesses. They give her meds for anxiety now which she hides because she doesn’t want to be “drugged”. It’s so sad.
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The facility has explained to you how it works at this facility. In fact yes they are both in the same facility but the separate places represent different levels of care. This is quite typical. My brother's assisted living place has both assisted living cottages where residents are expected to fall within certain levels of care needs, and memory care cottages where there is more staff, locked facility, more care rendered and much higher cost. So this is typical. The facility where you are now has explained their own criteria to you. It is so sad Mom is away from friends and there is not enough staff to accompany her to see them; I think they might allow YOU to take her to visit. If this is no longer the facility for Mom you may want to explore others, but do know that this particular facility seems to be working as they feel they must/in a way that works for them. And they will be unlikely to change rules for you. Sorry, but it does just become a long slow slide all about losses. I know you are frustrated by it. I'm so sorry.
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Rosiepie Aug 2019
Thank you for the reply. I am allowed to take my mom for visits to the other side but I’m not there enough and my sibling who visits almost every day doesn’t take her over there. I’m considering hiring my friends in the area to go every so often to take the pressure off my sibling and to give my mom something to which she can look forward. Probably my only option at this point.
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