My Mom has only been in long term care a few months. The nursing home is pushing me to file for Medicaid as we are now private pay. I refuse to do this because I am planning on bringing her home after I finish getting the house ready for her return, making it safer and more applicable to her mental state as she is at this time (I bought a hospital bed like the one she has at the nursing home, and a special chair for handicapped elderly people) and also put in extra bars in the bathroom and other safety items. So even though they are pushing me to do this I am not going to file for Medicaid. They also mentioned her social security income and I understand they cannot take this unless we have applied for Medicaid. So we have enough to pay privately for a while (like a few months) and then I am bringing her home. My question is this: can they stop me from bringing her home? I had already kept her at home myself for many years prior to her going into the hospital and then the nursing home for rehab and then short term care.
An extended family member had this happen when their parent was in SNF for a six weeks following a scheduled hip replacement even though she was private pay using Medicare and supplemental insurance. Mom lived with her full time employed daughter (and was alone in the house during the day) so they decided Mom would stay in the SNF until the doctor cleared her to walk using full weight and a cane (instead of a walker and only partial weight). Two weeks after she left the SNF starting drawing Medicaid payments - so her SS was going to the SNF. It took seven months to straighten out and get her SS back to being deposited into her bank account. This was a real pain because Mom used her SS to pay the supplement insurance premiums - if her son hadn't stepped up and made those payments she could have lost her supplemental insurance.
I also admire your determination to take care of your mom but I'm wondering how much she has declined since you last took care of her. Her needs may be much more physically demanding now. Have you helped the staff at the facility with her care recently? Are you planning to hire someone at your home for respite? As you can read on most threads, one person doing 24/7 caregiving is a recipe for disaster (for the c/g).
At the very least, I'd want a physical therapy assessment and input from her assigned aides as to the depth of her care. You don't want to be biting off more than you can chew, so to speak. There are many of us that have ruined our physical and mental health giving round the clock care. We'd hate to see you as another casualty.
I reread your post. You seem "adamant" about not applying for Medicaid. Why? Are you embarrassed because it's for low income or you don't want to accept a "handout"? You, your family and millions of us have paid for this throughout our working lives. It isn't charity, we've all paid for it. Millions of proud seniors are on it because American healthcare has priced all medical and mental care out of reach for most of us.
If I were you, I would start the Medicaid process TO HAVE IT IF SHE EVER NEEDS IT. Go ahead and take her home now, but, if you find she needs more care than you can give, please don't kill yourself trying. If she needs to be placed back in the NH, at least she'll have the coverage in place for a smooth return.
I took my Mom home when the Memory Care facility raised the rates over what she made on Social Security. I'm a nurse so I thought I could do it. There was NO way I could live on no sleep, screaming at the top of her lungs at 2am, pulling off her clothes and urinating on the bedroom floor, spitting food across the table, etc. The members on this board tried to tell me, but I thought I could handle it. Wrong!
Please leave Medicaid as an option.
Sometimes we can't see the forrest for the trees. Do you have a friend that could go visit your Mom with you and give you an honest assessment if you could do the same care in your home by yourself?
Good of luck whatever you decide.
I really admire your determination to take Mom home and care for her. But I would speak with her doctor and maybe even the Director of Nursing and get their opinion on Mom’s prognosis and how that would affect her living in your home.
Also, medicare pays for a hospital bed and some other items so I'm not sure why you are paying for that yourself. There is nothing in your post or profile that says much about Mom's physical or mental situation. Often, a hospitalization, rehab, and stay in a facility are a precursor to a decline where the family can no longer do all that is needed to keep the person comfortable and well cared for. As caregivers, the reality is often far in excess of our abilities, despite our best intentions.