Here is our situation. My daughter has terminal cancer but at the moment she does not need full time care. We (my wife and I and our son-in-law) can look after her between ourselves most of the time. At the moment, our needs are for someone (and this person doesn't have to be a nurse, just an empathetic understanding caregiver) who can come out occasionally to spell us off. Thus far, all the commercial services seem to require a minimum commitment of 4 hours / day, 5 days / week at 50 / hour. Do the math and that's over 4000 / month. I wouldn't have a problem with that if it were necessary but at this stage of her cancer we don't need this much care. Where can we find someone in Marin County, California who can come out on an as needed basis?
My friend had someone from hospice keep her company during the time that she was needed.
You may know someone who is currently hiring someone for their infirmed relative.
All this to say -
While these people are around delicately ask them if they know someone that they would highly recommend but can't commit to any more time than what you may need as well.
A fair number of people would prefer not to ‘just spend time’ with a very elderly person with dementia. Be clear about your daughter’s age and mental togetherness. My 'with it' mother dying of cancer aged 78 was a very different proposition from a 97 year old.
Think about this, you will pay me 50 bucks an hour but, I can't plan on anything else because you want me to be available as you need me. So, how much am I really making an hour to be available "as needed"?
I can't imagine how gut wrenching your situation is. I hope that you find someone that is precious to your precious baby girl and you can have some breaks.
There is a Medicare requirement that a % of volunteer hours are provided the hours can be direct patient care of office volunteer work. So the Hospice HAS to have volunteers.
They can not do hands on patient care. but they can do a variety of other things.
Talk to the Hospice Social Worker or Nurse and see how long it would take to get a Volunteer set up. It could be occasional or it could be scheduled (I was sitting with a patient from 1 to 3 every Tuesday for a while. But I also have an occasional Volunteer sit with my Husband on 2 or 3 occasions. So whatever is good for your schedule.)
I second the idea of inquiring on a local community Facebook page/group.
If she is not on Medicare, check with her health insurance to see if they cover Hospice.
Talk with everyone you know and ask if they know anybody that is an independent caregiver. This will be as close to "as needed" you will find. They will still need to schedule the time but, they won't require 5 days a week.