I was primary caregiver for our Alzheimer mother for six years. My siblings were abusive and neglectful to mom and myself. We put mom into a nursing home exactly one year ago today after I gave a month's notice and quit my full time mom and house slave job. The Power of Attorney sister has been dragging her feet fixing up mom's house so it can be rented. They ignored the plumbers warning/advice and let the whole lower floor get flooded with sewage when the broken pipe backed up. Anyway, the place is ready now and Power of Attorney sister has just sent an email out to me and my two other sisters saying that she wants to rent mom's six bedroom, three bathroom single family home in San Francisco out to two of the adult grandchildren for $2500 per month. The house would easily get $5000 per month. Of course, the sisters whose kids they are all for it and were in on the plan. I said no, that the twenty-something kids need to get two other room mates and the house needs to go for market value. Mom's care is $8500 per month. Is this even legal of my Power of Attorney sister to be gifting two of the grandkids low rent while my mom's estate is operating at a loss? Mom is in great shape except for the Alzheimers and could easily live another ten years. These sisters or grandkids almost never go visit unless it's a big FaceBook posing picture day, then they are all over it. Also, I would like to see mom's rental income go to providing her with a personal attendant in the home a few days a week so she isn't sitting there with bed head, black food under her nails, a soaked diaper and food encrusted jumper. This is killing me. I thought I got away from their abuse. One good friend says just leave it alone and walk away completely for my own mental and physical health. He says it's just ego and anger and jealousy that is not letting me see how happy the two grandkids will be. Mom has has eight other grandkids, by the way, and I'm sure eyebrows will be raised once they are old enough to figure out whats going on. Any advice on what to do? Thank you!
I would add to AlvaDeer's advice to get estimates on the rental value from realtors who deal in rentals. That can establish a benchmark for what your mother's house could be legitimately rented.
The POA documents probably include "market value" somewhere in addressing real estate assets. The fact that the kids are to be the tenants, plus the fact that the apartment is undervalued, would be primary considerations of self-dealing.
When mom first starting showing concerning signs of memory impairment, I gave up everything and moved in with her. Before moving in, my three sisters assured me that it would be very hard, but they would help. Then, when I moved into my mom's house, and accessed the situation, we had the first family meeting, and they all did a complete about face. I won't get into the details but I was slow to grasp their true intent which turned out to be neglectful to mom, and abusive and controlling to me, the new family slave. The first clue I had about the nature of the abuse was when I found a kind friend to stop by for a few hours between 3pm and 5pm. This was the danger zone when mom might start the disaster cooking before I could get home from work. Two of the sisters lived ten blocks away and passed mom's house twice a day while picking their kids up from school. I had asked if each one could just stop in once a week with the kids for five minutes and distract her with a snack. Or, heaven forbid, take mom down to their house till I could fetch her after work. But, no, they couldn't do that. They were so angry that I even asked. Where were the sweet helpful sisters of a month ago assuring me of how wonderful and cooperative they would be if I'd just move in with mom? Part of me was in disbelief, this can't really be happening. This behavior can't be my sisters. I started to make excuses for them that it must be hard with grammar school kids. But, then, I wasn't asking very much. I was willing to do 90% of the job. Anyway, I was so happy to report to them that I had a friend helping. But, I didn't get the response I expected. Instead, one of them hit the roof with the most bizarre complaints. She wanted to know if this friend was using the toilet? Were they sharing a snack with mom? How many cups of tea did they drink and how many cookies did they eat? I was just shocked. All three of them glared at me demanding answers. My mom is not poor. This free help was not a financial hardship on my mom. (Later, as my mom's Alzheimers progressed, we'd be paying $25 an hour for this kind of help.) And, my mom looked forward to the company. I told them if they don't like my friend there, then why don't they stop by? But, looking back, I realize that my friend helping wasn't the issue. The real issue is was that now there was a person outside of the family who could witness the ongoing systemic abuse that was about to unfold over the years.
I stupidly spent six years doing the job. I took one ten day vacation when my best friend got married out of country. And, I took six weekends off. That's one weekend per year. I had to beg for these. My sister has POA and controls the money. They wouldn't stay with mom so help had to be hired. After six years, I finally snapped and gave them a month's notice. They priced out what it would cost to replace me with everything I was doing and the total was $126,000 a year. That's why they put mom in the nursing home. It didn't take long before they started coming after mom's San Francisco home. And, that's where I am today.
I'm afraid they will probably win in the long run. I can't afford a lengthy legal battle. They will just use Mom's estate money to fight me. Plus, my older sister with the POA is extremely wealthy so this is all some kind of unconscious game to her.
But, I will see what the lawyer says. Price it out. Weigh my options.
Thanks for listening.
Take this to a lawyer. A San Francisco Lawyer. This is flat out WRONG. Meanwhile take pictures, attend open houses as we are do (many on Craig's List) Take pictures for the proof.