What is the one thing that bothers you the most about caregiving?

My wife has Alzheimer's..............I feel so sorry for her and do all I can to keep her entertained and involved. When I think to get in-home or consider other options so I can have a life, guilt sets in. My kids (not hers)& grandkids live out of state and my brothers who live in state all pressure me to do something and spend more time with them. I would love to, but she really has no options other than me. I get upset at times wishing I could enjoy the outdoors and hobbies again, but get over it. The pressure from family is the worst,

One of the worst things about this is the true inability to talk about it and to just be “heard”. I’m not asking for advice from people who cannot step in to help. Sometimes I just want and need a friendly ear. And it is entirely UNHELPFUL to be told to “walk away”. Some balls simply cannot be dropped. That’s the worst…

Thank you

Recently I would say that having to “manage the care” a facility that costs $6000 a month seems wrong. One might think giving basic care would be a given.

I’m really tired of having other people in my house. Even the ones I like, like the respite caregiver. I imagine it sounds weird and spoiled, but I just miss having our house exactly the way we want it, and being able to act however we want when we’re home.

I miss me. I miss my mom. The woman she has become is someone who mean, selfish and approaches life like 'Mommy Dearest' where nothing is ever good enough. Mom is 84. 'Moderate' lewy body dementia per the 15 minute visit with the doctor. Add mobility issues, cardiac issues and incontinence. And a hoarder for the last 60 years. I 'temporarily' came to stay in her home when she came home from hospital/rehab stay. That was 18 months ago. I am still paying rent/electric on my place as my husband and daughter are still there until there is space here. Trying to clear mom's house of 60 years of hoard that was organized into hundreds of small boxes. Two 30yd dumpsters later, i am still cleaning shit out. My oldest sister will come for a few days as she lives on the east coast, six states away. My brother is in a rehab facility for peripheral neuropathy. My sister that lived in town passed from cancer in May 2023. Julie's death seemed to accerate everything.
Mostly i hate watching Mom slip away every day and be replaced by someone i dont know.

I hate being the house "slave". I am trying to work full-time from home and I must get up AT LEAST 75 to 100 times a day from my desk. Today I woke up early because my dad wanted breakfast before golf came on this morning. I am exhausted and I need to put in a 9-hour day of work today which turns into 15 hours because of the constant interruptions. FML :(