I was wondering if there are any other caretakers out there that are only children like myself. Everybody always tells you to ask for help, what if there is no one else to help?? I have no relatives that live by my mom and me and when i vent to them i receive no sympathy. no one whom i have talked to is in the same situation. Anyone know of any books out there for "only's"?
My mom also did not take care of herself, and I can identify with the anger about that. You are not leaving your mom inappropriately at all since the cousin is there and she has good care in any event. You probably should go anyways, even if it is not as much relaxation for you due to anxiety - at least then you will not have to feel you shortchanged your family and be mad at mom even more for that. Do the kids ever visit Mom and does that ever cheer her up? My mom used to just love those grandkid visits, especially form my son, and some good memories were made. And I TOTALLY get the torn in pieces part - work, family, mom, all of those needing or at least wanting more time and energy, and no matter which you are attending to you feel guilty about not attending to the others...let alone a minute for you somewhere. Some things get better, some things get worse as the condition sadly progresses. The emotions are totally normal, and yet it might not be bad to get some help with them to try to sort out how you could reduce the stress and anxiety level - the truth is you are doing the best you can juggling everything and deserve to feel at least a little bit good about that. These are not the easiest years in anyone's life, to say the least.
I have six siblings but I may as well of been an only child for all the help I received. In fact, it may of been easier if I had been an only child because then I would not of had to deal with all the resentment I felt towards my unhelpful siblings.
My mom is gone now but I still get wound up over all my memories of those times. My one sister has managed to rewrite history in her mind. Well, I'll always remember how it really went down.
I'm sorry for those of you who are only children but don't kid yourself. You may still of been on your own when it comes down to taking care of an elderly parent.
When mom's health began to decline, my ONLY sister split. I 💗mom so much, I moved her from our country to the USA - no matter, it hurt mom deeply, but bottom line, unbeknownst to sibling, made it all easier.
No fighting, arguing, disagreeing. She was no help even though she lived at mom's house.
Good bye and good riddance!
M88
Seems to be a common occurrence though here on this forum..siblings that disappear when the going gets rough and one poor person gets stuck with the whole mess.
It is a very big weight on one person to be 100% responsible for someone's care.. No..its not healthy and no one should have to give there own life up for another.