Options for care?
My dad lives alone - he is 95. He can barely walk (but still drives!) due to diabetes. His mental functioning is not impaired. He has very little money and no assets. He has life estate in the house. He refuses to go on Medicaid later on because he won't give up control of his money. There is no money for an aide or any outside assistance. No one will take him in for various reasons. And from what I have read on this forum, this is not a good idea anyway. He has created many Medicaid penalties during the nursing home lookback that can not be cleared due to lack of money. What are his options? Do we call APS when he stops walking completely? And what would they do? Is there placement in some kind of indigent nursing home? I should mention he lives in a state where there is no filial support law.
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Daughter has worked in rehabs/nursing homes for 20 yrs. They are different. They cannot release a person if its unsafe. They can't force u to care for someone either. They will try but they can't force. Average NH care can cost 10k or more a month. A persons SS and pension go towards their care in a NH. Medicaid does not pay the full balance. With my Mom, she was on Medicaid for LTC 2 1/2 months and she owed 6k. She paid 1700 a month, it cost 9300. Medicaid paid an average of 2400 a month leaving 5200. So NHs make no money off a Medicaid resident. So of course they try and talk the family into caring for a LO.
I would not bother with his doctor & the DMV...........just remove his car; that's the only way to ensure he will not drive anymore.
If your father falls at home and goes to the hospital, they won't 'send him home in a taxi' if he's in bad shape! At 95, I seriously doubt many elders would be sent home to live alone by the hospitalist b/c that constitutes an unsafe discharge. At the least, he'd be sent to rehab and then from there it would be decided IF he could go back home to live alone.
Good luck............you may have no choice in anything until & unless he hurts himself and does go to the hospital. Then you'll deal with the aftermath. Not a good feeling or position to be in with a stubborn elder, I know.
The best way to get him help is hope he goes to the hospital. Then hope he goes to rehab where you can have him accessed for 24/7 care. If found he needs it, be very firm that he can't afford care at home and you cannot care for him. Rehabs cannot release if not to a safe place. Its called an unsafe discharge. Medicaid can be applied for. Whatever monies he has will be spent down and his SS and any pension will go towards his care with Medicaid paying their share. At this point, you can have the State take over, especially if Dad didn't assign you POA. You cannot be made to care for him. Its easier for the SW to have u take on the care, otherwise, she has a lot of paperwork to deal with.
My daughter says hospitals are not under the same rules as rehabs. They can release someone. If you refuse to pick the person up, they can send him home in a taxi.
Just thinking here. I know usually with having life estate in the house it stops once he passes. I wonder what happens with the house if he goes into LTC? This house probably should not be considered in the Medicaid application because its really not his house. Medicaid would not be able to recoup eventually from it.
Regarding his driving... if he can barely walk this means his physical reaction times are not at a level that makes him a safe driver. Not to mention the possibility of having a diabetic medical issue while behind the wheel. Please remove his car (not just his keys) from the premises so that he can't become a weapon on the road. Make up a "therapeutic fib" if necessary: "the car has a very expensive problem, they're waiting for parts" etc. My uncle was in his 90's and went through a red light, got t-boned which killed his wife and dog and injured the people in the other car (and fortunately not seriously). Please do what you can to prevent this from happening. I wish you much success in finding him help, and may you gain peace in your heart that you're doing all you can in a challenging situation.