My father had a stroke after which my mom had a slight stoke do have a daytime carer that works from 8-4 daily but am need of someone to stay from 4pm until 8am. They would be provided with a wonderful room with full bathroom facilities and a mechanism for emergency situations. They are both on walkers but are improving. Therapy and nurse assistants come on a 3 day basis.
As for the going rate, it all depends on where you live. In the large metro areas the rates are between $25/hr to $30/hr plus or minus. Usually anything over 8 hours one would get overtime pay.
I was wondering about two things. One, is it possible to find a caregiver who would be willing to move in with your mom and provide night time care in lieu of rent. No doubt she would want a couple of nights off, maybe on weekends. The other thought was you moving in with your mom and giving up your apartment.
The reason I mention you moving in with your mom is that in many states, if a child lives with the parent in the parents home and is their caregiver, the house will be exempt from Medicaid Recovery and will go to the child. I live in Washington state and I think the requirement is that the adult caregiver child has to have been living with the parent for 3 years. The time requirement varies from state to state. In some states it's 2 years.
I know you love your mom very much and do not want to put her in a nursing home, but the day may come when it can't be avoided. If you were able to keep her home for yourself (if, in fact, she owns her home) then you would at least have a valuable asset. You could at some point sell it, relocate out of state and get on with your life.
I know money/assets are not your motivation and that you want your mom to have the care she needs and you want to have the life you need. I don't know how to give them both to you at the same time, especially if a NH is out of the question.
Keep in touch. Cattails
It would have to be divinely manifested, I know. I'm thinking of a nursing student, or a sociology major. A quality individual who would appreciate the op and be trustworthy. Have you considered something like that? Blessings, Christina
I'm so sorry. I think I am doing ok, taking care of my dad 24/7 and all that entails and then I realize I made a major mistake on this thread and I have to wonder about my sanity. If you trust me to respond, I'll do it in the morning over my 2nd cup of coffee and maybe I'll do a better job for you. So sorry to be a dump shit.
I have only my Mom who has Parkinsons and poor vision. Other than that she is healthy. She is in her early 80's.
Ive seen elder law lawyers, called vets benefits and it didnt help. My dad who passed in 04 after long history of illness and was a wonderful man, was in WWII and it seems theres nothing in his benefits to pay for his wifes care. Ive explored the special needs trust and yes, as you say they only provide a few hours a day even with medicaid. Right now I have a HC person coming 4 hrs a day 5 days a week while she is having phys and occupational therapy but that will only be for a few weeks, Still its more than Ive been able to find in 3 years. Unfortunately I also lost my job right when we got them started a few weeks ago. I am single, looking for a new job and after years of helping Mom with dad and then she got sick right after he passed I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Im a strong person and am coping the best I can but Im alone and looking at my own future. I wouldnt have changed being there for dad and I love my Mom dearly but I am at my wits end because I see no way out. She was able to be on her own up until 3 years ago I was about to get engaged and then slowly as she became quite disable almost overnight everything else in my life stopped. Its so sad and disheartening that after one has contributed in life then gets old, no one cares. So I know Im not alone in this situation but its taking my life apart and I dont know where to turn. I just did the math and realized Ill be past retirement age before I could even pay off a mortgage. But a vacation, a relationship, spending time in my own place etc seems impossible. Im sorry to have ranted but I feel hopeless and helpless and I look at her and she seems so small sometimes and I know she needs me or someone to be here and my heart goes out to her. But I mourn for my own situation and I just don't know what the answer is. I ask everyone I know but without as you say, a substatial amount of money (which isnt there) I just don't know what to do.
Kids (too late now) a marriage..a place of my own I can enjoy, moving out of state..for now I am just dreaming :(
M: No one is going to come into your parents home and provide them with night time care for free. I understand that you don't want to put your parents in a NH and I understand that you don't want to have to take on their care in the off hours because you need to have a life too.
You are between a rock and a hard place and my heart goes out to you. Are your parents paying out of pocket for the day time care? Even if they qualified for Medicaid, it would not cover the cost of full time in home care. In our area, state of Washington, the best medicaid can provide for in home care is about 5 hours per day, not including weekends.
If you have talked to hundreds of people, my guess is that you have not found a solution to the issue. If those of us who are caring for our parents, in our homes, could find 24 hour care for them in their own homes, care that is dependable, then we would be signing up. It doesn't exist unless there is a huge financial income base to cover it.
Can you give us an update on your personal situation? How is your husband? What is happening in your personal life. We can support you in that, but we can't lead you to something that doesn't exist.
My heart goes out to you. We have my dad living with us and it takes a toll. My mom has passed so I just have my dad. I couldn't take care of him without the support of my husband. It sounds like you are alone and I understand that you want the best for your parents. God Bless you. I am so sorry for your circumstances and I wish I could make it all good for you. If you can, please tell us more about your life. Love and Hugs.
A
Happy Calling
They charge $17-20 hour. You can also place an add in the local paper or craig's list. The services often pay the aides minimum wage & keep the rest for themselves, so if you offer $10 hr or more you will get a better group of candidates.
Investigate these people thoroughly!!!! Check references & ask the hard questions during the interview. The time you spend now will make all the difference.