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Good Luck Jeff! I also met with our local Area Agency on Aging here in NE Ohio, and I was given some great advice. I hope they are helpful to you too!
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Suggest that you move forward as a family with building contractual agreements. Include all siblings in a monthly update Skype. I am sure there are emotions on all sides, as 'Venus' doesn't own emotions. We all become Venus in these situations. We all also claim mars. It is more helpful to say that, as you have to the group, the current situation had nothing I. Place and we need to work that out and then hold monthly Skype meetings. Set up a google group. Often, I observe, that siblings still can't work things out, men or women, successful siblings or non, but the sooner people start to communicate and share, the better.
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In my own case, it has helped me to recognize that we were all raised by a mom with severe deficits, which impacted each of us. I always related to the other side of the family, but a moment of clarity, towards the end, helped me to recognize that all of my siblings believe they are working hard to become more self aware. A few years ago I would have said several have no inclination in that direction and are only capable of responding on an emotional level, so this insight was very eye opening for me.
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There is another option to how to treat monies paid to family member without treating that person as an employee or independent contractor. Your parent can elect to gift up to 14k a year to the family member which is tax-free to the caregiver and would not be taxable to the parent unless lifetime gifts exceed a total of 5.34 million at the time of the parent's death.
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The issue of gifting is if Mom ever needs Medicaid any gifts in the previous five years, possibly going to seven, will be viewed as a penalty/waiting period before Medicaid kicks in.
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AnnAtty, wouldn't that kind of gifting be a red flag in a Medicaid application, i.e., if the parent has funds to gift, why should Medicaid become involved and pay for her care?
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GladI'mHere, that was my question and suspicion as well. Seems we posted just about the same time; your post wasn't visible when I posted mine.
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GardenArtist, we both did a good job!
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