Hi! I hope everyone is well and safe. My mother has been difficult for years. Mostly emotionally abusing me and my father. I won’t stand for it but my father is a enabler. Since she had a brain tumor and mild strokes she has been 1,000 times worse. She has started to physically abuse now as well. A few months ago she actually went for my throat. She has hit or punched my father in the ribs the other day. I called the police on what happened to me and played it down. I know she must have dementia. What can I do? My mother and father live in my and my husband's home. Is there social services I can call? When she was in rehab from her stroke we had her see a psychiatrist but, she just lied to them. When I called the police I thought maybe they could refer her to care or observation.
Why do you hesitate getting mom taken to hospital for evaluation? When you realize this is what is needed, refuse to bring her home.
You say your mother went for your throat a couple of months ago.
What happens next time she goes for your throat but has a pair of scissors or a knife she took from the kitchen?
Your mother can no longer live in your home. It's not safe for her and everyone else living there.
Talk to your father and tell him that you are placing her in a care facility and she will no longer be living in your house. If he fights you on it, then he can go with her.
Enough is enough. I'd talk to your state's department of social services and see what resources are available to help you find placement for her.
If you have to as a last resort, you can bring her to the ER of the hospital. Tell them you need a 'Social Admit' because you cannot provide adequate care for her and you refuse to allow her back into your house. They will send a social worker to speak with you then. Do not let them talk you into allowing her to return to your home. She will be admitted to the hospital and they will keep her there until they find a care facility with availability for her. This is a last resort.
She has begun to attack you and dad physically. You suspect she has dementia (I suspect you are correct).
Mom, whose brain is broken, both as a result of the tumor and the probably dementia, is not going to have a "change of heart" and suddenly seek psychiatric treatment, right?
You are going to need to force her into care involuntarily, and possibly force her placement out of the home for your safety and dad's.
Have you spoken to her doctor about the physical attacks? Have you gone to the psych appointments with her and corrected her untruthful accounts? Have you looked into "involuntary psychiatric holds" in your state? Have you called 911 and reported her attacks and told the cops you fear for your safety?
Those are the steps I would look into taking.
If you want her taken in for observation you have to tell the dispatcher that you are being hit, you are afraid for your safety and you want this person transported to the hospital. You say and do the same thing if you observe your father being abused. PLEASE tell the dispatcher that this person probably has dementia of some type. (probably will be diagnosed as Vascular Dementia)
If this is the case things will not get better they will get worse and serious injury or death can result.
When mom gets to the hospital ask to talk to a Social Worker. Tell the Social Worker that she can no t be discharged to home as it is unsafe for the other family members.
DO NOT LET THE HOSPITAL DISCHARGE HER TO YOUR HOME. DO NOT BACK DOWN ON THIS!!!!
Oh, if there are ANY objects that can be used as weapons LOCK them up. Kitchen knives of any size, guns....