Husband hospitalized due to fall risk and aggression(falls because of meds to calm). Working for 2 weeks to get him calm with meds…but even with 3 PsY. Consults and med changes still violent when being changed. In wrist restraints to keep in bed due to fall risk. No skilled nursing facility is willing to take him per social worker at hospital due to aggression. He is Medicaid pending. I have cared for him for 11 years and he has progressed to where it is no longer safe for him or me at home…2 911 calls for Lift Assist and 3rd for aggression(only violent when being changed).

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The next time he's hospitalized, you can refuse to take him home. As you state, you're not safe with him; he's not safe with you. The hospital social worker will do anything to get you to take him back home, but you can refuse and let social services do what they will, even if it's keeping him in the hospital.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It's brutal.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to TeethGrinder65
Geaton777 Mar 12, 2023
Candy22, make sure to say he is an "unsafe discharge" to the hospital staff and social workers.

If your husband threatens you in any way, call 911 and report it. The EMTs will take him off to the hospital and this is where you may get the social workers to help you find a facility for him.
Other than attempts to find the right "drug cocktails" (one poster hates this word, but there is sometimes no other solution) I don't see that there IS any solution other than SNF care. Any psychiatric care in-facility is now so rare that a 5150 served in SF will often have to go to Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto in my area. I am certain that the medical community is trying everything available to them. I am so sorry. This is truly heartbreaking. I am afraid it falls under "not everything can be fixed". We always think there is "a solution" or "the solution". The sad truth is that there often is not any such thing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer

i had a similar situation. i was caring for a loved one at home however even though on meds was very violent. he was in and out of hospitals and eventually placed in a facility but was removed due to them not being able to manage him (even though they came highly recommended as one of the best facilities for this). long story short i really had to fight to find a solution. i eventually found a small independent facility where he has been for the past 2 and a half years. his meds have been altered over time - he was on seroquel (and others) and is now on risperdol. it's taken a while to find the right balance. i'm sorry for your situation. i understand completely. my loved one is much calmer now although still has occasional aggression but thankfully not like before. i would try contacting some of the companies that help find facilities - 'a place for mum' etc. but also do your own research - maybe try some independent places also. i'm not sure where you're located - however if you're in CA i can recommend some for you. i really fought to get my loved one where he is - i was told it was almost 'impossible' - and for a time it did feel like that - however i refused to give up. he is so much better now - in the sense of being somewhere safe and secure - and calm! I wish you lots of luck. don't give up!
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to db5555
Geaton777 Mar 12, 2023
My experience with A Place For Mom is that they don't want to work with you unless your LO is going into AL only, and not needing Medicaid.
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