I've taken my mother out for an hour or so in recent weeks and I'm not aware of a diaper problem. Soon she is going home (w 24/7 care) and I'm hoping we can take her on longer excursions to the theatre or to the botanic garden. She is wheelchair-bound and unable to be transferred easily to a toilet (i.e., she doesn't use the toilet).
Second, if you are taking an incontinent person out in diapers, you are involved. If it's an ordeal to clean her without professional help and you take her out of her home where the professional help and lift are located, the care burden will fall on you. I remember you being quite upset about the length of time that your mother was sitting in soiled diaper at SNF. How long are you willing to have her sit in a soiled diaper on the outing with you because she cannot control when she goes and you don't have the option without help of cleaning her? These are things to include in your planning for outings with incontinent person - can they reasonably occur if she cannot control her bladder and bowels and you don't want her sitting in the results for extended periods of time. I know that you are trying to maintain a quality of life but it may be something that you have to put on hold while you figure out just what her "new normal" is. All of this relates to your being unable to clean and change her away from her apartment, that is. A very complicated situation to make your mother's quality of life better as you have stated.
Also, Pamstegma, did I ask about her qualifying for home care? She is getting 24/7 care in her home and it will be covered by Medicaid once she spends down. How is your post relevant to my question about outings?