So often when I'm cooking my mother in laws lunch or dinner, after its done she says she doesnt want that because she doesnt like it. I ONLY cook things I know she likes and has liked all her life.. I let her know ahead what I'm making and its o.k. with her until its done. She then decides that isnt what she wants. My husband thinks that is what she should have since its been made. Sometimes I feel bad and make her something else. Then sometimes she still gives me a hard time again. What should I do so that she's happy, and I'm not going to lose my mind???
Are there any standbys that are easy to keep on hand and that she'll usually eat? Cottage cheese and canned peaches? Peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches? Something that is easy for you but provides at least some nutrition if not happiness for her?
How about, "I'm sorry you are not in the mood for this right now. Let's set it aside and see if it seems more appealing later." Or just silently put it away, ready to be warmed for lunch tomorrow, and bring out the cottage cheese.
Minimize the extra work for you, and above all, don't take any of this personally.
(PS. My husband's dementia was sudden onset, and came on gangbusters. The "meltdown" episode that began it was in a restaurant, and included him ordering a dish that he had never liked, even after we'd all discussed what we were ordering and he'd picked out something he liked. When the waitress came it was if he had no memory of the food he liked or wanted. So I suspect the confusion over food is common in dementia. Maybe it makes it a teeny bit easier to know you are not alone.)