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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Errata - I notice your post states that "maybe …" she's not eaten. Do you know for sure, or is someone telling you she hasn't been eating?
Liz, your profile doesn't indicate where your mother is. That could make a big difference, i.e., if she's in a care facility, the nurses would be able to offer insight. If she's at home, you're literally on your own and probably should contact one of her doctors ASAP and raise the issue.
There may actually be some legitimate reason she's not eating. Maybe she has a sore throat, or something else is going on. Check this out ASAP before drawing any further conclusions.
I echo Jeanne's advice to say to your mother what you would want her to know, and what you want to share with her in the event that she is in a terminal situation.
Unless there's a specific medical reason why she's not eating (and I assume you've raised the issue with her doctor(s) ), it does sound as if she's approaching the end.
Don't let her go without telling her how much you love her, how much she's done for you, meant to you during your life, and other things to make her feel good about herself as her life ends.
And peace be with you as you also adapt to this most traumatic of events.
Is your mother at the end of her life? Is she on hospice care? Or is this lack of intake part of some other situation, such as pneumonia?
You have somehow managed to cope with her dementia. Sometimes with strength and understanding, sometimes less graciously (if you are life most of us.) You will manage to cope with this, too, one way or another.
Whether she is coherent or not, I suggest telling her things you want to be sure she knows. That you love her. That you will always carry her with you in your heart. That you are so glad for the love you've shared. I think that will help you cope and it may also be meaningful to your mother.
Share your feelings with people who know you well. If possible share them with people who know you and your mother.
Are you caring for her at home or is she in a SNF? Definitely call hospice asap, or if she is in a SNF that offers it, put her on the palliative care.
I'm so sorry but sadly, this is usually what happens when their bodies are shutting down. (my aunt did this. ) They no longer have "need" for food and water. All you can do is to keep encouraging her to eat or drink but do not force feed. Swab her mouth with a flavored swab or see if she will take small sips through a straw (they tend to strangle easily on liquids at this point). Whatever you do, please do not have them put in a feeding tube.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Liz, your profile doesn't indicate where your mother is. That could make a big difference, i.e., if she's in a care facility, the nurses would be able to offer insight. If she's at home, you're literally on your own and probably should contact one of her doctors ASAP and raise the issue.
There may actually be some legitimate reason she's not eating. Maybe she has a sore throat, or something else is going on. Check this out ASAP before drawing any further conclusions.
Unless there's a specific medical reason why she's not eating (and I assume you've raised the issue with her doctor(s) ), it does sound as if she's approaching the end.
Don't let her go without telling her how much you love her, how much she's done for you, meant to you during your life, and other things to make her feel good about herself as her life ends.
And peace be with you as you also adapt to this most traumatic of events.
Is your mother at the end of her life? Is she on hospice care? Or is this lack of intake part of some other situation, such as pneumonia?
You have somehow managed to cope with her dementia. Sometimes with strength and understanding, sometimes less graciously (if you are life most of us.) You will manage to cope with this, too, one way or another.
Whether she is coherent or not, I suggest telling her things you want to be sure she knows. That you love her. That you will always carry her with you in your heart. That you are so glad for the love you've shared. I think that will help you cope and it may also be meaningful to your mother.
Share your feelings with people who know you well. If possible share them with people who know you and your mother.
Come back here and talk to us.
Definitely call hospice asap, or if she is in a SNF that offers it, put her on the palliative care.
I'm so sorry but sadly, this is usually what happens when their bodies are shutting down. (my aunt did this. ) They no longer have "need" for food and water. All you can do is to keep encouraging her to eat or drink but do not force feed. Swab her mouth with a flavored swab or see if she will take small sips through a straw (they tend to strangle easily on liquids at this point). Whatever you do, please do not have them put in a feeding tube.