Does anyone have any positive experiences with Assisted Living Facilities. Just began looking at them as an option, since Mom (82) and Dad (87) may need a back up plan in the future. I am not in a position to add any more caregiving than I have over the past 4 years (nine years total for other family members) Exhaustion, health issues of my own, a small condo and the need to maintain my employment are the primary reasons. Mom and Dad are doing ok, but both have become less healthy and I can see the possibility of them not being able to live alone in the future due to declining health situations.
Assisted living was suggested to me, and although I thought it was too expensive at first, I found 2 facilities that they could afford and that seem very nice. Also one of the facilities has a 90 percent refund of the buy in price as an option, I imagine that is if the resident does not want to continue to live there.
Any feedback would be appreciated!
It is independent in the sense that you need to be able to be mobile
and that you need to know where you are going,
meaning that you have to have enough memory,
to be able to navigate the facility.
Our 86 year old probably needed more, as she waited to go home everyday, she did not realize she was in an assisted living, she did not know where she was and had to stay by the phone, so she did not miss the call that said she was going home. When she was sick with the flu, no one checked in on her or made her eat a little something, they deposited her food tray in her room, she had gone down to 97 pounds, by the time she was pulled out of the facility(by someone who had managed to get a different power of attorney).
We wish her POA's had found a small one, but her AL resembled a honey comb she really had to navigate, as she was in the second or third cell in and that meant 2 or 3 hallways of rooms on each side(of knowing which hallway to navigate as each floor and section started with five (entrances) hallways) and an elevator trip to get to the roaring fireplace with appetizer snacks, that their adds showed on television.
She could not navigate and was trapped.
That would be an important feature, the size.
Her facility did not post anything, that is sure a plus.
Her facility, had the ability to keep their rooms locked, the people who gave trays had a pass key, the nurses had a pass key, so it could seem to our 86 year old that she were locked in, so she could not happen to see someone, passing in the hall or have company, by chance.
Also our 86 year old was an immigrant although she had been in America for 50 years she ate only ethnic food, the food she cooked, suddenly there were no schnitzels, spaetzle, pannekuchen, sourkraut, etc. offered on the menu, these are somethings to think about...
Had her POA's really thought about not only her safety, but her well being, she actually might have stayed in an assisted living facility because she might have actually felt like she was home. We also do not know what we will be doing, as I am graduating college in a few weeks and will have to get a job, I have been her caregiver, since 2006, her full-time caregiver since 2007 and her court appointed non-paid caregiver for the last year.
Let us know how your search goes as I know it is a process we may have to take on. Our 86 year old has gained her weight back and doing well, but needs 24 hour care.
Here's what we do to make it better for her: we hired a nice lady to be on call to drive her to her medical appointments, weekly hairdo, or just take her out for a drive. She charges $10 an hour and uses our mother's own, familiar car. She texts us a weekly statement of # of trips, where they went, and hours, but otherwise it's understood that the trips don't have to be urgent or important---if Mother wants to visit her old home, or drive around, that's OK. Mother has subscriptions to the local newspaper and favorite magazines, and she has her own phone. Although we live a long way away, we call several times a week. She has a few friends who visit her and so far some some out-of-town family member or friend has visited every month.
Shop around, visit places, above all watch how the staff interact with the residents. Are they kind? Alert? Does the place smell OK? Is the food tasty and attractive? Are there at least a few other residents at the same level of function, so she has someone to talk to?
And if you live in the same town as your parent, even better. You can get by regularly. As time goes on, Mother is realizing that in many ways she's more independent now than she was at home, with part-time help, or living with me.