My oldest sister has been appointed both the Power of Attorney and Executer. She made the decision along with her husband to take my mother out of her cottage in a retirement community and put her in personal care which is part of the nursing home. I wanted to leave her with all her memories and get her a 24/7 home health aide. Anyway since being in Personal Care she has declined drastically!
When we were cleaning out her house my sister was going to simply throw away all my mothers memories, and she also had a valuable Hutch which was handcrafted in Haiti, which she wanted to sell on Marketplace on Facebook! I took both!
My question is two folded, maybe 3, Because she has access to my mother's Credit Card and Checks, can she take money for herself and her husband secretly? Because they suddenly seem to have more money. Also to complicate everything, we have a brother who has severe mental illness, my mother said she has a trust for him, which I am assuming my sister has access to, if my sister dies, does it immediately all go to my Brother in Law? That is if my mother did not list me as the person to be in charge? Because I do not trust him at all! He seems very greedy.
Here's how it works. While Mom is living, as DPOA, I was granted the power to make decisions for my Mom both medically and financially; there were separate DPOAs for each. Each DPOA granted me immediate powers per my Mom's wishes, not just for when my Mom became incapacitated. DPOA is to act on, in my case, my mom's wishes or in her best interests; NOT MINE.
Now that my mom has passed, I am now acting as Trustee of the trust. Funds that are held in the trust and my own personal funds CANNOT be co-mingled. I was required to notify beneficiaries of the trust, provide a copy of the Trust and Will documents with official notification that the beneficiary has 120 days in which to object to or contest the trust. In the middle of that, I must provide a Proposed Distribution of Trust and there's an objection period to that too. After the period, it becomes final and the funds are distributed. I'm going to do an almost full distribution, but hold back some funds for any unexpected bills that may come in. Plus an itemized accounting is due at the very end.
This is my situation. And I'm consulting with my Trust Atty to make sure I'm covered and performing my duties properly
Hopefully the trust was set up at a "Special Needs Trust". There are limits to this Trust. Yes, there is a trustee but not transferable. Must go back to court to have a new trustee appointed. It can't be used for lodging and food. And in the trust paperwork there is a list of things it can and can't be used for. When the principle passes away the trust reverts to Medicaid. Trustee is held responsible for this trust. I am assuming brother gets Social Security Disability and with it Medicare and Medicaid.
I have no idea how other trusts work. I would assume though that there is a trustee and maybe a back up. Just because BIL is married to your sister doesn't mean that he gets control because he is the husband. I wouldn't set up a trust where a SIL was trustee. SILs come and go. He shouldn't have access to Moms accts either. POA stops at death.
Is your Mom self-paying at the nursing home? Thus, is she paying from her own savings to be in there? If yes, please note the monthly cost is expensive. Thus, your sister would need to budget down to the last dollar to give your Mom the best care.
I had access to my parent's credit card and to their checks, co-signer arranged by the bank. I had to, otherwise none of the bills would be paid. The credit card was used to purchase items they needed, such as Depends, which can upset the best well thought out budget.
Regarding a Trust, it all depends on how the Trust is worded. Maybe the Trust will allow Mom to use that money for her care, or maybe the Trust is solid so that only your brother is able to use the funds. Now do you know for sure there is a Trust, which was drawn up by an Attorney? Or did your Mom use that word but actually meant she had a separate saving account for your brother?
If your sister passes on, the Power of Attorney, and Executor title doesn't automatically go to your sister's husband.... unless that was written into the Power of Attorney that he is secondary, and the same with the Will. If your sister's husband is not mentioned, and if your Mom is unable to appoint someone new, then the local government court takes over by assigning someone, either from the family or from a firm.
Oh, the cost of having 3-full time caregivers is extremely costly. In my area, the cost is around $20,000 per month, yes per month. If you were thinking of hiring just one person, that person would burn out within weeks working 168 hours per week caring for your Mom. Your Mom is in a nursing home because she now needs a village to care for her.