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I am the health care and financial power of attorney for my 87 year old father. He lives in the mountains in Colorado by himself and does not drive anymore. I have tried to convince him to move to a senior care facility but he doesn't think he needs it yet. He occasionally gets confused about the time of day and walks 100 yards from his house to the bus stop in the middle of the night. If he fell on an icy sidewalk or street in the middle of the night and couldn't get up and died from exposure to the cold, could I be held liable?

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Who is going to hold you liable? Siblings? If you don't have any contentious siblings or other family members then this is nothing to worry about -- especially if you have proof that he's been doing unusual and unsafe things. For someone his age it is doubtful if he passed away the county coroner wouldn even think twice about negligence or foul play.

The way you work around getting a resistant adult to move to a facility is to use "therapeutic fibs". This means traveling there to spend time with him before and after he transitions. It will be much easier if you go there.

The fib you tell him can be anything like: the well pump is broken so there's no water until they fix it and I've arranged a place for you to stay temporarily while this is happening (and you discretely shut off his water because he will check). The facilities have heard it all and will be happy to go along with whatever narrative you give him.

People his age mostly have bad memories of their LOs going into decrepit and smelly nursing homes. The ones today are often so much better, with social offerings and activities, much more social exposure, etc. But, this is a profound change for your Dad, so you may want to talk to his doctor about meds for mood, which will make it easier for him emotionally to deal with it.

Also, make sure you know he can afford a good facility (local to you would be preferable) and it accepts Medicaid.
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It is time for you to consult with his doctors. Send a letter to his PCP and describe what your dad is doing. All this can be done before actually traveling there. His PCP may have recommendations that will help.
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I think you know that going to a bus stop in the middle of the night is unsafe and that Dad should be assessed and evaluated by a neuro-psyc doctor, then placed in care for his own safety.

Now, you KNOW your Dad. If you feel he would rather die in the snows of Colorado than go into care, and if you and he have discussed this, then at 81, quite honestly, I feel that's a choice. A human does not have to accept treatment nor care.

You however are POA. You have accepted that, and I assume are in some way doing it (financial management?). You are honesly beholden now to at least hire folks for him to check on him and I would say a.m. and p.m. check required whether of friend, neighbor, phone call.

I would travel now to dad and come to some conclusions of which way to go.
Surely it is clear to you that at the point your father is wandering the streets confused he must be evaluated and made safe. As to whether you get thrown in prison for not doing so? Unlikely. Your defense is that you discussed with your father, felt him safe enough, and it was his wish to stay home, and that he would rather have been eaten by cougars than gone into care. I doubt you would be imprisoned. I think that's not really the point now, is it? Isn't the point that you are aware as a son that your dad is alone and wandering the streets confused and should be in care?

I recommend a trip to your Dad ASAP and I wish you both the best whatever decisions you make together with the help of doctors and recommendations. Do your best to keep him from harm. That's what he asked of you in appointing you POA.
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As the POA you have a fiduciary responsibility to make sound decisions for someone with dementia, their brains are broken they cannot make rational decisions.

You have the power to place him MC, don't wait until it becomes an emergency, that is where the problems can come in for a POA, the question is always "Why wasn't this done before there was an issue you knew that dementia was present"?

Having a DPOA is not a pleasant situation as there are hard decisions that must be made.
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As POA, you have the power to place your father in Memory Care Assisted Living against his will, to keep him safe and prevent him from killing himself by wandering the icy roads in the middle of the night! I don't know if you'd be held "liable" for negligence by leaving him alone and he died of exposure, but you'd have to live with yourself knowing you should've taken your POA responsibility seriously and not relied on what dad "wants" when his power of logic and reason is shot. I had my mother in Memory Care Assisted Living not because she was thrilled about it, but because she was incapable of caring for herself due to dementia.
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