My Father will be entering a Memory Unit on Oct 15, 2010. The 3 children and wife will be taking him. How do we prepare him at home for going, how should we plan the day, and how do we handle our emotions? Also any tips for visiting or taking him out for a day?
They did find some serious heart problems that his old DR never found. He has not asked to go home and has good and bad days. It's painful to see or think of him, but the family and Mom knows it's the best place for him. Mom cried when she left her home of 58 years but after 10 days she is slowly getting adjusted and adapting with her blindness. She loves her new room and loves that she does not have to cook, clean, and all other chores. Her Caregiving for my Dad was way too much for her. I cope by calling and visiting Mom a lot and she likes that. It's hard to see Dad the way he is but I visit once a week and I think he still recognizes me. I just hold his hand and look in his eyes and speak gently and he gets comforted. I am closer to God now and that is such a good feeling, I know He has His reasons for our joy and sorry and by believing that is how I am to cope. Again, for anyone with Alzheimer's, the association is a valuable and comforting resource.
My father-in-law had Alzheimer's and so I understand your problem. Just keep in mind that you are doing what you (and your family) feel is in the best interest of all concerned. Wish i had some words of wisdom for you but alas, I do not. Just know that you are not alone and there are many others out here facing the same thing. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to feel sad and yes, even guilt but do not let it ruin your enjoyment of your other family and the last few years of your loved one's life. Be tough, be strong. God bless you and help you handle this heart-breaking task. Big hug to you.
In my moms case she screamed at my sister asking "what did I ever do to you to deserve this?" and went on and on. It tore my sister apart. She has adjusted to the new settings and is comfortable.
There is a list of caregiver guidelines. If you haven't seen them yet do a google search. Or maybe they are online here. Take a look at them. A lot of wisdom in them.
That's part of our story. Everyone is an individual and acts and reacts differently. Take care.