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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I just went through this with my LOVE. It is right on the mark. I would add, that if it is your husband or wife and you can crawl into the hospital bed with them to hold them. It was such a blessing when my sweetheart put his arms around me and squeezed my hand gently of course. His trying to get out of bed was about three days before he passed. The ending happened when he knew I was going to not be alone. I had prayed to God that I did not know how I could watch the breathing stop and God provided. My pastor came over and while we were praying, my Love passed. I was the only one with him through the entire process. And, that was fine with me. We had a love that many never have. True honesty and willingness to go to extreme lengths to make sure they know they are loved, even staying up for two days with little sleep to be there for him. I played beautiful peaceful music and NO other noise...disrupting the death process could be stressful for them. His breathing included sudden not breathing and when I passed my hand across his chest he would breath again. Finally, I realized I had to stop keeping him and stop using my hand on his chest. It was difficult but beautiful. NEVER did he cry out or moan,,,Such a man was he. I will miss him, but I know where he is. He is with Our Lord.
Just being there will make her happy. But I would get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, something that smells lovely - smell brings back memories. Also, a CD of her favorite music.
It doesn't have to be big or complicated. A balloon, a card, a cupcake. A hug and kiss.
My mom was 78 a few weeks ago and is in hospice. I took her a McDonald's happy meal, a balloon, and a stuffed fuzzy cat & dog. She doesn't like the way sweet things taste anymore. Her appetite is very small to non-existent, so she only had a bite of the burger & two tiny fries. Before, she would have eaten it all up with apple pie and want more.
As far as dying goes, you should talk to her doctor about ordering in Hospice services ASAP. You don't have to pay for that. They will help her and you through this next phase. They are very good at what they do, and it will help you not feel like you have to always have the perfect words. My mom gets an extra bath from hospice, pastoral care visits, and music therapy. The hospice nurse visits her 2-3 times a week.
I told my mom that if she's ready to go, it's OK. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I know she's tired and worn out, and if she feels like "going home", that is what she should do. She told the hospice pastor yesterday that she is ready to go. Now we just wait on her body to get the memo. If she continues not eating, it won't be a long time.
Luckylu, you can call the hospice service and ask for a different nurse and tell them exactly what you said above. Also request that they bring with them the phamplet about the dying process and what to expect. I am going to look online now and see if I can find one for you. Your nurse should be compassionate and caring not cold and harsh. Praying for peace and comfort for your mom and family.
Is she alert and aware? Do you think she'd want to see her family one last time?
Perhaps something very, very simple such as a lovely card with a vase of her favorite flowers, with sentiments of the love you share for her, how much she's influenced your life....something that will soothe her during her last days.
Are there any frienda you think she might want to see, or talk to?
I see in your profile reference to what people often discuss with a dying relative, i.e., that's it's all right for them to let go. Perhaps you could add that to a card as it's very, very difficult to say to someone in person.
It might be that that confirmation that it's okay to let go and pass on could be the best gift you could give her, as it would help her believe that you still love her, will miss her, but know that it's time to end the suffering. You'd be giving her your blessing to move toward a peaceful solution.
Mother is awake,but not too alert.She tries to read her paper,but falls asleep.She sleeps alot on and off through the days.She cant taste anything and she cant smell anything.she has a hole in her septum.She is very sweet and kind and appreciative.Mother was placed on Hospice July,2012.The nurse is cold and is a know it all,She has told me zero about dying and what to expect.She said she doesnt caare for her own mother.
Do all the above--and then live a life she'd be proud of. I remember asking my sweet grandma what I could so to ever repay her for her unconditional love and she replied "Oh, sweetheart, just be happy and try to love everyone." I carry her name and feel everyday that I am not as good as should be. BUT, what an example. Love, really, is what it's all about.
My mom ate a piece of pizza with us just 1 or nights before she passed on, and one of the few things she actually enjoyed was a little stroll (her in her wheelchair) through their little garden. She did not like touring the building and looking at the art work, but the flowers outdoors did something for her even though when I'd tried to take some to her in rehab she did not want or like that at all.
Luckylu, I found a lovely card, and inserted a lengthy letter telling her all the reasons I Loved and admired her , and included many little stories and happy memories of my childhood and my life with her and my Dad and our family life. I read it to her, or actually attempted to read it to her, crying as I read it, but she got very emotional, and preferred to read it on her own after I left the room. Later she told me how much she appreciated it and asked that I place it in her coffin with her, which caused me to cry, it was a cry fest, lol. But in her coffin it went, along with the many many cards and letters she received from so many people, and relatives all over the world. She said she couldn't believe how many people loved her, but it wasn't hard for me to believe it, she was a fantastic person to everyone who knew her. She was the type of person that people felt very comfortable with, and she was always very fair, when advising someone who came to her looking for advice. She Always took my husband's side when we had a falling out, or at least, she always made me see his perspective, I'll always love her for that. He Loved her, both my parents very much. He never had the close knit family that I have, and I'm sure it is one of the reasons he married me. Anyways, you can't go wrong with a letter of Love and Admiration for sure! You hang in there Sweetie, I know how hard this is for you right now! I'm thinking of you! Love Stacey B
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A balloon, a card, a cupcake. A hug and kiss.
My mom was 78 a few weeks ago and is in hospice.
I took her a McDonald's happy meal, a balloon, and a stuffed fuzzy cat & dog.
She doesn't like the way sweet things taste anymore.
Her appetite is very small to non-existent, so she only had a bite of the burger & two tiny fries. Before, she would have eaten it all up with apple pie and want more.
As far as dying goes, you should talk to her doctor about ordering in Hospice services ASAP. You don't have to pay for that. They will help her and you through this next phase. They are very good at what they do, and it will help you not feel like you have to always have the perfect words. My mom gets an extra bath from hospice, pastoral care visits, and music therapy. The hospice nurse visits her 2-3 times a week.
I told my mom that if she's ready to go, it's OK. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I know she's tired and worn out, and if she feels like "going home", that is what she should do. She told the hospice pastor yesterday that she is ready to go. Now we just wait on her body to get the memo. If she continues not eating, it won't be a long time.
Perhaps something very, very simple such as a lovely card with a vase of her favorite flowers, with sentiments of the love you share for her, how much she's influenced your life....something that will soothe her during her last days.
Are there any frienda you think she might want to see, or talk to?
I see in your profile reference to what people often discuss with a dying relative, i.e., that's it's all right for them to let go. Perhaps you could add that to a card as it's very, very difficult to say to someone in person.
It might be that that confirmation that it's okay to let go and pass on could be the best gift you could give her, as it would help her believe that you still love her, will miss her, but know that it's time to end the suffering. You'd be giving her your blessing to move toward a peaceful solution.
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