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I just went through this too. Same age difference. I am 71 husband is 80. I had to spend all my money on the house. You can't give a cent to your grandchildren if you hope to get on Medicaid. They did look back 5 years, but I heard it is going to 7 year look back soon. Start now.. See a lawyer and don't throw anything away....paperwork. The nursing home helped me do all the paperwork. It was so time consuming, worrisome and nerve-wracking. But I just had to trust in God to help me along. I have finally been approved after 5 months wait. The state of MD will pay for everything from now on. Of course I have nothing but my home, and car. No savings at all. Well a little in a Bank account that they let me keep. I can't apply for Medicaid for myself until 5 years now. But I am healthy. And I still have my own life insurance policy. I am beginning to get my life back in order. Bill has had AD for 11 years now and I was confined to the house with him for the last three years of his life here at home. He couldn't go out at all. It was pretty lonely! Please get a lawyer right away and start saving all your paperwork. Taxes, real estate taxes, bills, bank accounts (they will get that together for you) . You are allowed to pre-pay his and your funerals and count it as one of your expenses using up your money. It is a lengthy process.
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Agree with everyone, go see an Elder Attorney ASAP. I am in a similar position, my husband is 20 years older than me. He has been in a Long Term Care Facility for over a year and prior to that received home based care all paid for by medicaid. I was able to keep the house, in both names, and my IRA but his IRA needed to be spent down. Although it is a federal program laws are different in each state. A good attorney can help you immensely. Act fast but with counsel.
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Spellcheck!! There goes a WAD...not was.
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See an elder care lawyer. Of course, there goes a was just for consulting but if you don't; good luck later.
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Take a deep breath, form a support system to help you with care giving, and consult an eldercare attorney.
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Talk to an attorney with expertise in this area. Medicaid has very strict look-back rules, going back 5 years I think. Also, if you get divorced and put most of the assets in your name, they will not accept that. I checked into this, because I am in a similar situation. If I put my husband in a nursing home, where will be the money to care for me when I need it? Home care is the same thing. It can cost more than a nursing home if you have it 24/7. This is a real dilemma. Please see an attorney. Maybe someone else can tell you the specific kind of attorney to see.
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Call a certified Elder Law attorney today! There is a 5 year look back for Medicaid and there are still some ways to protect more than half of your assets but you need to act sooner than later.
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We just went through this with my mom and dad. You need to see a lawyer specializing in elder care asap. They can help.
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