My father has been on his own since 2018, has been doing well until the last 6 months. I am his only caregiver; I live an hour and half away. I cook his meals and go once a week. I am finding he doesn't have the desire to get up to microwave what I bring. He has no desire to go on, won't go to the doctor and won't talk about moving in with me. He wants to die and is completely of sound mind. Pays his bills and gets to the bathroom. Mentally exhausting as there is nothing I can do.
Let him decide.
Advise he can change his mind at any time.
Eg;
Dear Father, why not go see your Doctor? Talk about your dizziness. Talk about *life* too. What's working - what's not. I'll leave the phone number right here on the table.
Yes you can decide not to.
Decide to sit & just rot away..
But I would much prefer you didn't!
Many peoole go through a patch of loneliness &/or depression.. there is NO SHAME in that.
Getting a little help when you need it is common sense.
Ask him what has he got to lose?
Have you discussed him going to AL? He will be with people his own age, have activities, a community dining room and more.
My mother fought my brother & I tooth & nail about going into AL, finally she had a slight stroke and was afraid to stay alone at night. We swooped her up, sold her house, moved her near us and placed her in AL.
She loves it, new friends, doesn't have to do a thing, and is very active. Now she says she wished she had moved there 10 years ago, go figure.
Mom is 97, been in AL for 2 years and is thriving.
Might be the answer, he is depressed and lonely? Old people need interaction or they deteriorate, both mentally & physically.
You can suggest to your father, who is actually one year younger than me, that it is time to see his doctor, that he should try a mild anti depressant. He should have this "dizziness" checked out in any case. Routine physical would uncover low blood counts, take into considerations his medications and etc.
It is time also to check out Meals on Wheels if they deliver in your area. Not special in taste, they are nevertheless ready to eat, and our bodies are amazing in needing so little at some point in order to go on.
I think you are, because you are the daughter, picking up the luggage. If a friend or acquaintance told you this you would feel bad, sympathize, but would understand this wasn't in your control. You are powerless to infuse Dad with the will to go on. You can only listen, sympathize, and suggest ways he can help himself.
his dr. appt last year suggested additional blood work and refused to go and at that time, he was still doing well on his own. The winter has not been kind to him. <3
My sig-other was getting very dizzy any time he stood up from a sitting position. It would make him feel like he would pass out, so staying sitting made him feel safer. Cutting his blood pressure dosage in half was a winning solution, his blood pressure was in a good range [no longer very low], thus no more dizziness.
Another idea, when was the last time your Dad had his eyes checked? If he hasn't had a new prescription in many years, or had cataracts removed, it could make him dizzy.