My brother's in the hospital sick; I feel so bad and I'm in another state. My brother was the primary caregiver and is very sick and in the hospital was with them for 3 mos and had to return hme for appointments I feel so bad about leaving them. what can I do.
I hope for the best for your family and It sounds like you did all that you possibly could have, in an impossible situation.
Write your mother a note (large print) that your brother, who is normally her caregiver, needs some time to get healthy. That she is helping him, just like he has helped her, by letting the nursing home care for her so others can take care of her son. You know this is difficult for her, but also know how much she loves her son. Encourage her to take advantage of being around others her age, different activities and meals, and (if she has a sense of humor) that it is like "taking a cruise, without a ship".
I would caution against giving a time for when she can return to your brother's care unless it is absolutely certain. If she asks, your brother's doctor will tell him what he needs to do to get well, you don't know yet, it is too early for a timeline.
Then write her notes, send photos, call her on the phone until your brother can take her back, if that is possible. It seems to me that being in the hospital these days requires having very serious medical needs.
I wish both you and your brother well.
A few years later she had to go due to developing dementia and physical weakness, which was a less-pleasant situation, but her having seen the NH before probably helped her to orient better.
Meanwhile, talk to your mind as if it is an upset child. For example, "It's all right sweetheart. You're doing the right thing. Take a deep breath. You're so good. It's all right."
Blessings to you and all involved in this difficult time.