Quality of food in assisted living facilities. What's the best way to check up on the food other than spending mealtime there?

Before the pandemic, I was able to feed my mother when I visited her in her memory care facility. She's no longer verbal and can only eat soft foods, and has to be fed, but she's still eating. Institutional food is never as good as homemade food. I tasted her breakfast once and it was not something I would want to eat, but it's keeping her alive. I was interested to read the comments below. I've also noticed that older people lose their sense of taste and develop a sweet tooth. Sometimes people with dementia also have difficulty swallowing and chewing (like my mother). Some people in my mother's residence also have to drink thickened liquids due to the swallowing difficulty. Is your sister losing weight? If her weight seems OK, then she is probably eating despite her complaints. Are you allowed to bring her special treats when you visit (like ice cream)? I wouldn't go overboard with that, but if she can have something special once in a while, maybe she'll feel better about the food.

A couple of things to keep in mind: complaining about things binds people in an US VERSUS THEM way. It gives the residents something in common.

Secondly, as we age our sense of taste diminishes. So the greatest chef on the planet couldn't fix that.

The best way is to taste what she's eating so Check and see if you can visit at mealtime, you should be able to now.
My Dad has dementia and he doesn't seem to like much of anything if it isn't sweet.

Meals where my mom is were ok when I'd have lunch with her - not great but not awful - better than I remember from primary and secondary school). Of course that hasn't happened since COVID began. Mom's facility is open again to visitors, however visits are either outside or in the apartment only.

If sis is complaining and you are able to visit at mealtime but can't visit the dining room see if you can't have meals delivered to her room so you can dine together and therefore be able to determine the quality of the food..

Complaints are common in facilities and mom has mentioned others there complaining; and has complained herself from time to time. Recently she says the meals are a lot worse. I would think the meals are regulated by the state to meet nutrition standards - however that doesn't mean they are edible. Plus there is repetition of the revolving menu that may only be changed seasonally. Mom isn't a picky eater and does eat the veggies - and is surprised by the number of residents who don't eat their veggies.

I've never been a fan of where my parents chose to live, it's one of the cheaper options in the area and was at one time owned by the church but has since been sold to a for-profit corporation. The best part of the facility is the number of friends my parents had there and I knew growing up. Such good memories. But many are now moving on to other facilities because of dissatisfaction with what is going on. The for profit corp is horrible, you can't contact corporate and the staff gets into trouble if they provide how to contact.

Mom who over the last couple of years (since dad's death) has been adverse to moving out, now at the last visit asked when she was moving - which I put on hold for numerous personal reasons. Mom's facility is 22 miles - 25 - 30 minutes away. She is upset about numerous things going on there including the food which she says now is not good.

More than likely, most of the residents complain because it doesn't taste like things they used to cook. And probably not the things they cooked. Seasoning is probably the biggest complaint, in my opinion. Take them a baggie with Mrs Dash, salt, pepper or other condiments you remember them using. They can keep in their room or carry to the lunch room to season to taste.

One funny about institutional food - a friend LOVES to eat any and everything they serve at hospital, rehab, etc. Scrambled eggs, cereals, etc at breakfast. Will select these things herself from their menus. At home. Nope. Refuses anything that she requested herself at the facility. Even got her one of their menus to let her pick things because she ate so well in facility. At home, she hates every single item on the menu.

It’s hard to change your go to topics of conversation for the uninitiated.
As others have said, it’s what they talk about so she might feel better if you join into fussing about the food instead of trying to prove her wrong.

I would be concerned if you were having to buy smaller or larger clothes, if her blood work was off or other obvious signs something wasn’t working.

I remember reading one of these type posts about what to cook for parents and one of the posters said because of the parents desire for sweets, the poster just sprinkled a bit of sweetener on everything. No more complaints.

My dad once commented that my moms cooking was enhanced by his inability to smell. He got in trouble for that crack. He appreciated a visually appealing plate.

But having made light of her complaints it is of course important that the food be all that it should be. Perhaps you could ask for a dinner to go if you can’t join in. Ask your sister what her favorite dish is and what she thinks would help. It’s good to be heard about something that’s important. Easy for us to dismiss when we have lots of choices.

Certain people can’t be pleased, no matter what! Others are very easy to please. You said yourself that your sister has always embellished the situation so I don’t think that I would take it very seriously.

When you can, go eat a meal for yourself to see. No telling when that will be though. Lots of places still have Covid restrictions. Some places here are only allowing 30 minute scheduled visits in the lobby.

If she tires of eating at the facility, can she order take out on occasion? I have a friend that his mom isn’t dissatisfied with the food at her facility but she tires of it occasionally and her son has the staff order take out from nearby restaurants.

The posts pretty much covered what I was going to say, the food is not seasoned. No salt, no pepper, etc. This is the same with meals on wheels. And gaining weight, have you heard any complaints about dessert? I doubt that. Where my Mom was there with birthday parties every month and other parties to celebrate certain holidays. And snacks in the coffee room.

The last time I had a meal in my parents ALF was just before Covid broke out.
My mom and I had chicken tacos w/ pico de Gallo. Dad had tomato soup and salad. The hubs had a mushroom omelet. Everything was made from scratch. The chicken was very tender. Everything was very fresh but not fancy. Everything was low sodium. No salt shakers on the table. This was a major upgrade from canned soups and packaged meals they were eating at home. They have all the fresh fruit they want, usually apples and oranges. My mom told me she had roast beef and mashed potatoes for Mother's Day and that it was pretty good. ALF is open but we cannot eat with them yet. What they have struggled with is low sodium or salt free meals. There blood pressure has improved.

It's the LAW for elders to chronically complain about the food in Assisted Living and Memory Care! My mother says she can't possibly eat the "sh*t" they serve her daily. Meanwhile, she's pushing 200 lbs. So guess what mother? You're eating SOMETHING, aren't you?

There are no COVID restrictions in most ALs anymore, so why not go see for yourself just how horrible, awful and inedible the food really IS at your sister's place?

Also, look up the EMPLOYEE reviews of the facility on Indeed.com. I did that yesterday and lo & behold. 90% of the reviews were from employees who were thankful for the FREE MEALS they were given while at work in the ALF! Now, if the meals were THAT bad, who'd be grateful for them? Nobody.

The other trick I have up my sleeve is I offer to bring my mother either a home cooked meal or a restaurant meal every Sunday. 90% of the time she says No Thank You. Now, if the food was so god-awful, wouldn't you think she'd jump at the chance for a home cooked meal to be brought to her on Sundays? I also have snacks sent to her from Amazon so there's never a valid reason for why she can't possibly eat.

Good luck!

Isn't there a social media platform where people share pictures of their meals? Instagram or Snapchat or something or other (do I sound as if I know what I'm talking about?). I seem to remember a Scottish schoolgirl going viral a little while back, and then there being a gigantic to-do about whether she could or couldn't be forbidden by her school to post pictures of the catering...

Anyway. If your sister isn't up to taking an image on her cellphone to share with you, perhaps you could ask a friendly aide?

Food in all sorts of institutions tends to be pretty dire. I'd be inclined to agree with your sister first, and then do what you can to reconcile her reasonable expectations with whatever quality standard the facility commits itself to.

Is she on a restricted diet at all, such as low-salt? My mother griped endlessly about the food, but then she likes spicy Mexican food more than anything, so she was getting none of that what with her low-salt restrictions and an ulcer. I finally told them to get a bottle of mild salsa and put it on some of her food.

Also, keep in mind that as people age, they lose their ability to taste much. The last flavor to go is sweetness, so that's one reason why seniors tend to like desserts a lot more than salads and savory foods.

You might check with the nutritionist at your sister's facility and ask if your sister is on a restricted diet, and ask her what could be done to brighten up the flavors a bit.

IMO mealtime is a very good time to visit - usually there is a special table set aside for those with a guest, and when someone has dementia it is often a lot easier to spend meaningful time together without having to come up with topics of conversation.

LOL my mom's AL meals were a constant source of complaints. But the ladies were lining up 30 minutes before mealtime to get to their seats! Luckily Mom was not a picky eater.

Negativity tends to breed, so when one person starts complaining no doubt "everyone" else pitches in too.
One thing that I found about the meals at my mother's nursing home was that despite appearing varied and tasty at first glance they were repetitive, so the little things that you might overlook the first few times can really start to become annoying when they are repeated over and over again. Its kind of like if you took all your meals at the local restaurant and there was never an option to have something off the menu, it can get tiring no matter how well prepared.

My mom and dad went into assisted living in 2017. I would have dinner with them and a couple other ladies each night. My folks had been living on pop tarts and cereal for years. The food would be served restaurant style in the faux fancy dining room and mom would sniff at it and say I THINK THESE BEANS WERE FROZEN. Then clean her plate and dads as well. Ya gonna eat that? She gained 5 pounds in 3 months. The food was pretty horrible though.

we ate several times at my MILS MC, and the food was pretty darn good! We even had some "family meals" there in a private room for special occasions. However, when my Mom was in rehab, she was on a low salt diet,, nothing was going to make that taste good. Is sister on a special diet?

My brother who was in ALF and I used to laugh so hard as we said it was like a JOB for those living in ALF to complain about the food. I saw the menus. The choices, the extra treats. He thought they did a great job. Were the vegetables always fresh instead of some canned? Nope. But overall a good job given it IS "institutional cooking" and there's no way around that. They would let the elders have other choices like a chicken salad when they didn't like the two choices. I would indeed go to lunch there. Tell the administrator why. Say you would like to sit in for lunch a few days, or dinner. You can then judge for yourself.

They could have made an activity out of complaining about the way the green beans were cooked in my mom's Independent Living Facility.

I think the only way of checking is to eat there yourself. Or to check the food safety ratings, if the municipality has them.

Think about the school lunches you ate as a kid. Were they primo food? No. Were they edible and nutritious? Probably.

Bring treats. Bring your parent's favorite food and have a picnic.