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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You will need a care agreement. See an elder law attorney for help and help you to see all the angles. You will be an employee as defined by the IRS and Labor Department. So, dad in law will be an employer with responsibility to pay taxes, Medicare, disability, etc...
So, will you be working 24 hours a day or who will be working the other shifts? If you are working an 8 hour shift, I think $20.00 an hour, for general cleaning and laundry. It goes up, if you are giving him skilled care. Since you are quiting your job, please consider that you are no longer paying into your own retirement. That in itself will be costly. You didn't ask for this advice, but do not let other family members say "Well, you are living there. You won't need much income." That shouldn't even be discussed. You are giving up a lot. You cannot do it for free.
Please spend some time on this site searching through threads on the same topic and make sure you're making a good decision. You are giving up a LOT to do this and putting your own financial future at risk. Please go into this with your eyes open and make sure this makes good sense for everyone involved - mostly you, because you are giving up the most in this scenario.
And make sure you keep the social security taxes paid. You don't want your benefits to drop too much while you're doing something kind for your FIL. I know that he will also want to make sure you're being cared for. This is a tough thing you are doing, but I hope you find it enriching. It is easier if he is someone you like or love.
BTW, you can also do this as a self-employed person. Remember to ask for enough to pay 15.3% for self-employment tax (covers ss and Medicare), and keep good records of your expenses. And don't forget your own healthcare insurance, especially because in the near future pre-existing conditions may become a factor again. I'm in Alabama and I would probably charge family about $25 an hour if I were paying all my self-employment taxes. (I work for free, so how dumb am I?)
$200 per day. That is $25/hour for 8 hour days. You won't really work 8 hour days. Some days it will be 7 hours during the daytime and then 3 more in the evening. Or after an 8 hour day FIL might get you up 3 times in the night. In addition to what you do, some days your husband will also put some time in on house maintenance. So $200/day as a package deal would be fair. Can FIL be left alone sometimes? Will you have weekends off? Consider that as you set the fee.
And you absolutely have to discuss time off, right up front. No one can be a full time caregiver 24/7/365 and retain their sanity. Can't be done. And yet people often go into this without any notion of respite until they are approaching burn out. You need to have time to yourself. You need to have time with your husband that doesn't always include FIL. You need hours during each week. And you need vacation time. If FIL can manage on his own while you are gone (house cleaned and laundry done before you leave, with easy-to-microwave meals in the fridge) that is great! But if he needs someone with him, discuss how that is going to happen, before you even start.
Here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years...
it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage.... loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
You might be able to find a help agency (maybe a temp service) that will you could work with on the taxes, etc.; the patient pays the agency and they pay you, with the proper deductions, taxes. etc. We did this with my mother-in-law; I think it was social security who authorized a caregiver and referred us to an agency; we found our own caregiver through a neighbor whom she had worked for.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Since you are quiting your job, please consider that you are no longer paying into your own retirement. That in itself will be costly.
You didn't ask for this advice, but do not let other family members say "Well, you are living there. You won't need much income." That shouldn't even be discussed.
You are giving up a lot. You cannot do it for free.
And you absolutely have to discuss time off, right up front. No one can be a full time caregiver 24/7/365 and retain their sanity. Can't be done. And yet people often go into this without any notion of respite until they are approaching burn out. You need to have time to yourself. You need to have time with your husband that doesn't always include FIL. You need hours during each week. And you need vacation time. If FIL can manage on his own while you are gone (house cleaned and laundry done before you leave, with easy-to-microwave meals in the fridge) that is great! But if he needs someone with him, discuss how that is going to happen, before you even start.
Another article: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/quit-job-to-care-for-parents-150227.htm
Here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years...
it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage.... loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
A lot to think about.
Your employer is in deep trouble if they get caught.
You are an employee...so says the IRS
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