This is long, if you make it through all this, thank you! I am being accused of financial elder abuse by my grandma for stealing her inheritance, which I did not do. In Q1 2018 she received an inheritance of $100k, she called me crying and freaked out because she is on HUD, Medi-Cal, IHSS, SSI, etc and she did not want to lose her benefits. I told her to contact an Estate Attorney and she refused because she clearly did not want to handle this above-board. Somehow she had the trustee of the Estate send a check for her inheritance to me. I received and deposited the check and told my grandma that I would find a way that was legal for her to use this money via trust or something. Grandma lost it at this point, screaming at me that I was trying to control her money and that if I don't go to the bank right now and pull out $100k in cash and give it to her then I'm a thief. I tried to explain to her that I can't just go pull out that much, I'd likely get reported by the bank and I'd have to provide answers. She would call me all hours of the night screaming at me to give her her money. So I did. Over a few months I pulled out $10k at a time, to avoid being reported by the bank, and I gave it all to her in cash. She was keeping this money in her apartment, which had been broken into a few times, and various safe deposit boxes.
Fast forward to now and I start getting calls from her accusing me of having over $100k of her money. I don’t have any of her money. I try to tell her that and she just screams at me so I hang up as she won’t hear anything I try to say. A week later I received a demand letter in the mail from an attorney she hired, demanding I provide a full accounting of the inheritance and return her money or else they will file with APS. I sent them my bank statements and I explained I don’t have any of her money. have not heard back and now I am wondering if I should contact APS myself to get ahead of this. My grandma had had several APS cases opened in the past for her behavior and abuse of medications, I have spoke with her case worker in the past and have a good report with her. Im worried because I have no proof that I actually gave the cash to my grandma other than the cash withdrawals on my bank statements. I do have her IHSS caretakers testimony that she has been abusing her meds, generally confused, and accusing him of stealing from her as well. I also have testimony from the Estate trustee that my grandma wanted the money in cash. I never signed anything agreeing to any terms regarding the inheritance either.
There’s also the issue of fraud here. Any suggestions on how to navigate that? My grandma told me that she did not claim her inheritance as an asset on the last two years of financial statements. She also never claimed a large settlement she received from Walmart years ago.
Sorry for the rambling... I’m truly at a loss here and dealing with my grandma is very difficult as she also had NPD on top of what I think is mild dementia and her substance abuse.
If it matters, I have DPOA of her and she added me as a joint member on her bank account at one point and I never once touched her accounts, the bankers at her bank would testify to that. I was added as joint because apparently you can’t have a beneficiary to a safe deposit box. She wanted me to have access to her box if she died. There’s a signature log each time the box is accessed and I never accessed it.
This is not a DIY, you need an attorney & if it means a 10k retainer, & you don’t have it, ask if they will take maybe half AND you do a personal bond for like 50-100k. Make sure you can be bondable. Bonds aren’t just for criminal stuff but also often needed for someone named Executor for probate or a partner in a bigger deal with a governmental agency (like your a vendor for city contracts). Look to make sure you “fit” being bondable before you mention this.
BUT whatever the case you imo
- must do a very detailed timeline on all the actions in your bank accounts & in conversations with her to share with your attorney. Id suggest you get on this ASAP, like buy a Intuit / Quickbooks type of product to input all this into. And the timeline goes back 6 years. Like you can show your bank accounts that get your salary, dividends, spending and then that 100k influx & the 10k withdrawals since then. If you show no big spends or assets acquired over that period of time; and you keep your job or usual income into your bank accounts, this should show that you got no benefit from the 100k if this was the case.
- if you did buy stuff, like new car or house or property, or big expensive vacay, you imo need to be able to show that these spends make sense for your income or the income of you & your spouse.
- I’d get last 6 years of taxes too. If you don’t have them, you request these from IRS & ASAP before tax season hits.
- Pull your credit reports from the big 3.
- go to your bank and get the paperwork on that 100k check. There needed to be paperwork on any $ move over $10k. There's federal requirements on this as part of terrorism & drug $ tracking. Bank will have it. You want this. It may have been done on the 10k withdrawals too, so get the paperwork on these as well.
- what did she do with the cash? If you kinda know how she spent it, do notes on that.
All these things you take to attorney you find. Most criminal defense guys have associates who deal with civil. You’ll likely have to do lots of calling around as most criminal guys do drug & murder & don’t do white collar (embezzlement, fraud, contracts). Yours are white collar issues.
The WalMart tort $, write up a note on what you remember on this. If there was a health care bill component to her lawsuit that was part of the settlement $ paid to her AND she was on MediCARE at the time, if this was after 2009/2010, the MediCARE Secondary Payor Act is in force. It’s a federal law. It requires that should you get a settlement and the health care costs paid in anyway by Medicare were included in the settlement that you are required to repay Medicare the $ you were paid for those care costs. I’d be like white on rice to find out this info as it will show she had a pattern of bad behavior before you ever came into the picture. Your attorney should be able to use this as leverage. It will get ugly.
You write “trustee of the Estate”, to me that does not make sense.
Either there’s an Estate which has Executor or Personal Representative & the actions were done in probate court for Estate of a deceased & which had grannie as a heir who got a 100k distribution from Estate assets,
OR
there is a Trustee of a Trust & these actions follow however the Trust was set up legally years before which the Trustee has authority to do.
Which is it? It imho will make HUGE difference as how to approach.
The attorney who contacted you, how are they representing Grannie? They should have said this in the letter to you. So What type of attorney are they & if it’s a firm, look at their website to see what kind they are.
(2) the actual minimum reporting per transaction threshold is less than $10,000 - lots of crooks thought $9,999 was a smart withdrawal since the publicly reported number was $10,000;
(3) the total of large non-scheduled withdraws over a 6-12 month period combined is evaluated (scheduled or monthly/quarterly repeated withdrawals like mortgage or tax payments are ignored); and
(4) Actually depositing and then withdrawing in large transactions the same amount within a 12 month period sets of the money laundering monitors.
Over 99% of reported transactions are ignored because the person involved doesn't have any criminal history or even a history of flagged transactions. Unfortunately because the withdrawals were cash and the feds cannot easily follow the cash and you are going to have multiple reports from this one bad idea, it's very likely someone is going to come knocking on your door someday - or maybe just a letter; when/if someone does, please remember you don't have to answer just because a question has been asked. Please have an attorney review any response you make - always remember some fed will be getting a promotion based on how many cases of money laundering and/or tax invasion they discover, don't allow yourself become one of their numbers.
You do have your bank statements for withdrawal, which you also carefully and knowingly did in amounts under 10,000 so that it would not be called into question. Were I a juror I would not be looking on any of this lightly at all.
You have been honest with us in what you did, and that you did it with knowledge a forethought, and knowingly.
I would now hire a lawyer and be as honest with that person as you were with us.
This is what is meant by "what a wicked web we weave when we practice to deceive".
Hopefully you don't pay to high a price for helping her defraud public assistance. But education is expensive in a classroom or out.
You watching her do this for years makes you as guilty as her in my opinion, her keeping the 100k would have not been a problem for you had she not retained an attorney to get her money from you, again. This is the end result of fraud, someone pays.
Now my question, I wonder if Grandmother is using said money for her own care, or is still "hiding" the money so she can still have the taxpayers pay for her care? Now, to me, THAT is fraud. Your Grandmother sounded like she fully understood she would lose her benefits if she reported the money which is complex, thus no dementia was being shown..
The best definition I could find is this:
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/constructive_trust ;
I think if infers that you could be "unjustly enriched" by holding the funds if you failed to transfer them (back) to GM.
10. I'm uncertain about contacting APS. You don't want to raise the issue of possible fraud, which would probably obligate them to contact the IRS. OTOH, you want to be preemptive in protecting yourself.
I don't have good enough insights on this to make good suggestions.
11. Many people here believe they have a POA or DPOA "over" someone. That's an erroneous interpretation. The powers that are granted are fiduciary ones, and the proxy (which you are) acts on behalf of the individual who created the document.
No one HAS any authority OVER anyone else through POAs or DPOAs. Proxies have obligations, a different relationship.
And I would seriously consider resigning and advising your GM in writing, sent by certified mail (none of this texting stuff). My hesitation though is an inferential guilt, so I would also discuss this with the attorney you find.
But I sure as heck wouldn't act or do anything else pursuant to the authority granted. You need to get yourself completely out of that obligation.
If I've erred in any of my conclusions, please let me know. I think you do have some options, but agree that you need a very specific practice area for representation. And I'd be very proactive about finding someone.
The executor sent you a check made out to YOU?
I think you need to be in touch with the executor to clarify if those funds were yours to keep.
Perhaps gma exercised her right of refusal. In which case you owe her nothing.
I have to say that I find the continued flatulation of the OP disturbing. Wait... no... that isn’t right... that’s farting. Flagellation. That’s it.
As bible verses are commonly used around AC - I’m going to use one of my favorites. John 8:7 “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
Speaking only for myself - I know that I’ve certainly made some bad choices in my life. And yes, some of them illegal. I bought alcohol before I was 21. I bought pot years before it was legal. And, I suppose I even defrauded the government when I lied a little about the amount I used as a charitable deduction.
So I purpose - aren’t there shades of grey in our “sinning”, our mistakes? Or is it all so black and white?
As our pastor says, "Sin is sin."
Paying for a lawyer’s ‘frightener’ letter is a cheap, common and often effective strategy, and lawyers don’t investigate whether the allegations are true. I have dealt with my appalling father’s allegations against my mother, grandfather, me or my sisters for most of my life (since to my own primary school principal) so I have runs on the board in dealing with it, and you are not the only one with crooked family members. Stay away from Grandma and close to your coming baby. Lots of love, Margaret