the care recipient might want only family - but it does not obligate family to provide 7x24 care unless they have the ability and inclination. If they do not - line up what family can do willingly (not coerced into..) and then the elder can fill in the blanks.
Murdock, would you still do the caregiving even if being paid? If the person you are caring hired from an Agency, she would be paying between $20/$40 per hour [cost vary depending on your area].
My Dad had paid caregivers, 3-shifts, until he did the math and realized it was much cheaper moving into senior living. With the caregivers it was costing him $20k per month. With Assisted Living the cost was $5k-$7k per month. He sold his house and used his equity to pay for senior living. He loved the facility, being around people from his own age group.
You walk away. If other family members want to provide 24 hour care, let them. However, I would make everyone clear about your limits and what you will provide.
Murdock, welcome to the site. You might like to start again, not using your own name. This keeps you anonymous, just in case you want what you say to be private from other people who might be involved.
Just as important, it means that you can feel confident about providing enough information to get useful responses. From your question, you probably are a family member, but the family details are quite important in understanding what’s happening.
More info would be helpful: - what state does your LO live in - how old is this person - does this person have a PoA - does this person ever been tested for cognitive decline and memory impairment - how do you know she can afford to pay for agency or privately hired aids?
Even without answers to the above questions, the answer is that all family members say no to doing the caregiving. You can inform her what her options are that do not include family hands-on care.
Then you tell the person they will have to hire Caregivers because you will not care for them 24/7. If you have left a job to do the caring, then you should be paid if they can afford it. But, this should have all been hashed out before caregiving was done. A contract should have been written up and witnessed.
My Dad had paid caregivers, 3-shifts, until he did the math and realized it was much cheaper moving into senior living. With the caregivers it was costing him $20k per month. With Assisted Living the cost was $5k-$7k per month. He sold his house and used his equity to pay for senior living. He loved the facility, being around people from his own age group.
Just as important, it means that you can feel confident about providing enough information to get useful responses. From your question, you probably are a family member, but the family details are quite important in understanding what’s happening.
- what state does your LO live in
- how old is this person
- does this person have a PoA
- does this person ever been tested for cognitive decline and memory impairment
- how do you know she can afford to pay for agency or privately hired aids?
Even without answers to the above questions, the answer is that all family members say no to doing the caregiving. You can inform her what her options are that do not include family hands-on care.
If competent, she can make her own choices.
As can you.
More info would help to understand your problem.