I have four siblings. My mother is 85 and has short term memory problems. We clean her house, make sure she is clean and make her meals. She remembers to heat the meals in the microwave and is not losing weight. She also remembers to take her medicine everyday. Two siblings feel we should bring in home aides to help socialize with my mother (although she was never very social outside her family). They feel we should do this regardless of what my mother wants. Two siblings feel we should respect my mother and not do anything she does not want to do. All of them expect me to be the deciding vote and do what they want. My mother sees someone 6 out of 7 days a week (even if it is for only 30 minutes) or talks with someone on the phone. I wanted to bring in a care manager to help me determine what we should do but my mother said "I am old not crazy" and that "she does not need or want a babysitter". I want to do the right thing and honestly I don't think my mother is incompetent. Last time I brought up this subject with my mother she told me that she can still decide her life. Am I doing the right thing by respecting my mother's wishes? How do I handle the warring siblings?
As long as she is able to do for herself I would tend to let it be. If your siblings are helping out with cleaning, cooking, medicine sorting, then she maybe fine for the time being. Once you feel she is unable to care for herself, has a lot of difficulty getting around or it might be dangerous for her to be alone...then call in all the outside help you can get. There just comes a time when you have to be the adult and make the right, although hard, decisions for your Mom's wellbeing...no matter what Mom thinks!
Getting the evaluation now would give a good baseline for future decisions.
Good luck and God bless!