What is my responsibility concerning my mom's will?
11 years ago, my mom had a will drawn up and she named me as executor. She was starting to get a little forgetful. Fast forward to today. My mom has severe Alzheimer's and she lives in the dementia unit of a nursing home. She is on Medicaid.
When she went into the nursing home, I needed to clear out her apartment (including some items that had been willed to my sister because she never came to get them. I informed my sister, asked her to come get anything she wanted, and then waited 2 months. Sis kept putting me off, knowing I was paying mom's rent and utilities to essentially keep the apartment as a storage unit for her. Eventually, I had to let the stuff go.)
My question is, most of the assets she had listed in her will are no longer available. I am her power of attorney. Do I need to update her will?
Thank you.
4 Answers
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Keep a log of what date you started to clean out Mom's apartment.... when you notified your sister... how many times and how you notified her.... what items that were in the Will for sister but sister never came to retrieve any of the items. And anything else you can fill into the log.
Oops, I just noticed that 97yroldmom above was thinking the same things.
As her POA, I *could update her will. Just wondering if that would make it easier for me after my mom dies.
My sister has never come to see my mother in the nursing home. She spent her life asking mom for handouts, then when my mother finally put her foot down (sis was approaching 50 and needed to be responsible) she turned her back on my mom. Limited her calls to 5x a year (new years day, her birthday, mother's day, thanksgiving, and Christmas). Came to visit a handful of time in 15 years, always with friends to use my mom's place as a NY crash pad. Completely ignored us, ate my mom's food and didn't clean up after herself. But I digress...
In short, sis does not care about my mom. But she sure cared about mom's 40 year old bedroom set! She has not spoken to me since February of 2015 when I gave back the apartment. As an aside, she never chipped in for the rent and utils I paid to hold the apartment after mom was gone, as she had offered. She hung me out to dry to handle my mother's illness and placement in the nursing home all by myself. Nonetheless, she is furious, and not above attempting a frivolous suit. Just wondering if the update would be a prudent thing to do. Updated circumstances, updated will. I donno...
As for the assets: The first part of the Will instructs the Executor to pay all bills and claims against the estate. In NY you must wait 7 months for bills to come in. You only divide and distribute what is left after the waiting period. In many cases, where the parent has gone to a nursing home, nothing remains. You do not need to update the Will.