I to have a pushy sister but she has a DPOA. She is very adamint that I can not do for my mom. Thank god mom is in residential care now and doing very well. A week ago they had meeting to tell how mom is doing and to see if we have questions. I was not notified but found out about it so addressed my sister and she claimed the meeting was for her not me. Well I just told her I had every right to go because she was also my mom. I went against her wishes and found that it was for the family. I only found out because they sent a copy of the notice to moms room and mom asked me to read it.
Sis and I have never thought on the same level and it was aways a struggle to care for mom because she was of little assistance and for the most part I did most of the in home care. When the Dr told mom it was time for the nursing home she agreed and we started steps to get her into the one she wanted.
Sis was in denial and said we needed to take care of her at home so I went forward and did the looking myself. After having sis on my case for a month she said I will take care of the rest because I have POA. Well she dragged her feet but about 3 months later mom signed herself it as they did have a bed where she wanted to go. Now sis is so shut mouth about everything I have to did for facts on what is going on. I have finally talked to the adminastrater and asked them to notify me when there are meeting about mom etc. Can she do anything to stop me at this point.
We have never asked her for a penny, and at this point it makes me sick to take anything from her. But this situation of not helping us plan for the future is just crazy. My parents were those people who wanted all their money to go anywhere except there kids or grandkids. And we are a pretty great bunch. Educated in spite of them, good kids. They were lucky. But no one misses Dad and they won't miss Mom either. So is money worth it. I think not.
Sit down and talk to her,thats all you can do. Do not be her fulltime caregiver without compensation.
Oh isnt getting old so much fun :((((((((
I just had a conversation with my Mom just trying to get her to see an elder lawyer and draw up a DPOA, Medical Directive and any thing else she needs. She made my brother agent on a DPOA but I believe it to be "springing" which will be a pain in his butt. She has no Medical Directive. I don't know. They don't tell me anything but of course I have been "told", I will take care of Mom. Right.......
When I asked Mom about these papers she asks why she would need them, she has her Medicare card????? And no she doesn't have dementia. Just stalling and very, very, did I say very, difficult.
The durable power of attorney for health care is the legal document that names a patient's health care proxy. Once written, it should be signed, dated, witnessed, notarized, copied, distributed, and incorporated into the patient's medical record. You should keep the original in a safe place and make multiple copies for you physicians. You will be required to provide one each and every time you are admitted to the hospital or an alternative healthcare setting.
Remember, this proxy only takes effect should you be unable to communicate your wishes concerning treatment. If you become able to express your wishes at any time, and you are mentally competent, the health care proxy will no longer be in effect.