I lived with my 89 year old mother, who has Alzheimer's, for the last 5-1/2 years until just one month ago the siblings decided to take turns caring for mom. Of course this is not working out and to cover the gaps I want to hire outside help. Problem? Mom thinks she is perfectly fine and gets angry if we even mention the fact. She cannot do anything for herself, unfortunately. She needs 24/7 care. I've been talking with a few agencies but have frozen when it comes time to "introduce the new caregiver." I will look like the "bad" daughter and I don't want to upset mom -- but know this may be what is best for her. Suggestions?
Your mom with dementia? Your siblings?
If this isn't working out, with the siblings taking turns, time for a family sitdown or Skype meeting to figure out the next step.
No upsetting your mother would be nice; but there also needs to be consideration given to keeping her safe and allowing you and your siblings time and space to live their own lives. Balancing this can be difficult, but it CAN be done.
Getting everyone on the same page is the start.
You need this time or you will break. Take courage, and enjoy the respite!
With dementia, sadly, it's really the providing of care that has to take first priority and often you can't avoid the person being resistant, hostile, nasty or unhappy. I would work as much as possible to make it smooth, but, that's not always possible. I'd just develop a tough skin.
There are also some techniques on how to work with people who have dementia on You Tube. Look for the Teepa Snow videos on Dementia. She has some good and practical ideas. I hope you can find something that is helpful.
Initially, do you think your mom would accept help coming in to do her least favorite task?
Another poster introduced a home health care aide as the sister of a friend who needed a job.
See All Answers