Scattering ashes, need ideas.

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Scattering ashes, need ideas.

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This week my entire family and I are going down to FL to scatter my Aunt's ashes. I'm not planning anything elaborate, just relaxed and informal. We spent many decades visiting her (and her still-going-strong sister, age 104) so I'd like to put ashes somewhere in their humble back yard I will inherit their house so not worried about future owners) and will put some into the ocean where we spent many fun times together. There are a lot of rules about "burial at sea" so it needs to be discrete. Some of the ashes are being saved for when my Mom and other remaining Aunt pass and are also cremated -- they want their ashes together (and I'll probably do the same scattering locations for that as well).

I was thinking of maybe burying some under their concrete bird bath (along with some flower petals, with an informal "ceremony") or, the house is in need of a shade tree so was thinking of sprinkling them in the hole while planting it.

At the ocean is trickier since it is often windy and there may be other swimmers there... so we'll try to do it on a less busy day and time. It's been suggested to also scatter flower petals when the ashes are released to follow their trail.

I read on a blog that the ashes look more like concrete mix so there are bone fragments in it.

I would be very grateful for any other helpful facts and creative suggestions!

Cremation End of Life Funeral Planning

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Geaton,

Sounds like a beautiful and meaningful day for the entire family.

I’m sure that your aunt knew how much all of you loved her.

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My only suggestion is to ensure everyone is standing upwind.

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At the beach, I had transferred ashes into a large conch shell then wrapped it in saran wrap. I unwrapped it when submerged because it's always very breezy at the beach. The ashes didn't come out very easily once wet, but did come out. It was very satisfying to watch them float away and some settle into the sand... that made it feel like she'd always be at the beach with us.

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Update:

Yesterday we scattered 1/3 of her ashes in the garden of the home she shared with her sister since 1977. Everyone got a chance to scatter some of the ashes. Read the "ashes to ashes" commission from the Book of Common Prayer, read scripture, prayed, shared loving memories of her and I kissed everyone and told them how much Aunt Nancy loved them her whole life, thanked them for loving her, visiting her, being generous to her and thinking of her. My youngest son (now age 24) cried so hard it took everyone by surprise.

Today we all went to "our beach" in our bathing suits with more of her ashes in a large conch shell. Did a similar ceremony, read the Disturb Us O Lord prayer by Sir Francis Drake, then released the ashes underwater, scattered flowers above it. It was sweet and peaceful to watch the white cloud of ashes-to-sand stream out in the current with red, pink and yellow flowers floating above on the crystal clear blue-green water.

Thank you to everyone who commented and left your thoughts and ideas.

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I know someone who put her Moms ashes under the birdbath.

A was diagnosed with ALZ. In the early stage her DIL asked her what did she want for her funeral. A said to cremate her and then put her Mom, her husband and her together somewhere. The DIL asked her where was the Moms ashes. A says "Under the bird bath in the back yard" where's Bill. A says "down in the cellar in the filing cabinet under "B"...for Bill.

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They put what's left of the body after cremation in a macerator. It grinds the bones to a size that is not recognizable as a human bone.

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We had a biodegradable turtle for my father's sea burial. We arranged for a boat to take us out 3 nautical miles. The driver took a picture of the meter so we'd have the coordinates. Amazon has several kinds of products to sprinkle ashes and some nice biodegradable flowers.Also found this idea on Google.*You can dig a shallow trench in the sand near the water's edge and fill the trench with the cremated remains. You can leave the ashes uncovered in the trench, or you can cover them with sand. As the tide comes in, the ashes will be swept out to sea**

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The biodegradable container is an interesting idea! Thanks!

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I suppose every area has their own state laws regarding the scattering of ashes.

In our case, the only restriction is if ashes are scattered in the water, they must be scattered at least three miles from the shore.

Some choose a body of water, a garden, a favorite park, etc.

I would choose a place that had special meaning to your aunt.

Many people choose to have a memorial service at the same time as the scattering of their ashes.

Your aunt was blessed to have a niece who cared about her so very much.

I would also take a few photos from the event to share with her sister if you feel that is appropriate to share them with her.

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Thanks for the kind compliment... I was like-wise blessed to have such a sweet Auntie.

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Yep, looks like concrete with 3/4" or less gravel. I was surprised when I scattered my dad that it wasn't just ashes. None of the bones were recognizable as such, thankfully, because I would have freaked out.

If you plan on doing this on the sly in the ocean, get away from shore, just common courtesy, IMO.

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Thank you!

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We scattered my sister in law and brother in laws ashes on family property in the mountains last year. There were no bone fragments in there that I saw, but what I noted was the sheer weight of the ashes. Very heavy, which was unexpected. They are the color of cement....gray, and not perfectly fine like talcum powder, but grittier in texture. We just scattered their ashes under trees and around the grounds while recalling personal memories we shared with them in past times. I can't imagine scattering ashes on a beach scene where other swimmers are present bc it should be a private moment where only family members are present. I'd rent a boat and do it that way, If you want the ashes scattered at sea.

Here is a link to ideas about scattering ashes in Florida and rules pertaining to doing so:

https://www.thelivingurn.com/blogs/news/state-guide-to-scattering-ashes-florida-edition

Best of luck to you.

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Thanks! Yes I help my Aunt's urn in January and had the same thought about how heavy it seemed. Thanks for the link!

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Hire a boat (or take a cruise) to take you out to international waters and dump them there?

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I would except my 104-yr old Aunt would not be willing to tag along for that! Or my 94-yr old Mom (who def gets sea sick). Otherwise I would totally do the boat thing. Thanks!

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We scattered my husbands ashes in the ocean at his favorite beach here off the coast of NC. And you're right they seem to have strict rules about doing that and even want to charge you to do so.
Well needless to say I wasn't going to pay to scatter his ashes, so we went out around 8:00 a.m. on a Monday morning and my son was kind to go a little farther out in the ocean and he just opened the box and submerged it letting the ashes just go into the water without blowing back in anyone's faces as I've heard tell of that happening.
I didn't get a close look at his ashes, but what I did see it just looked like sand to me.

I like your creative ideas for her ashes as I believe it should be something special and significant to your loved one.
Have a great time in Florida!

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Thanks so much!

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Scattering ashes, need ideas.

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