So depressed and angry. Been caregiving all ALONE for 3 yrs now. Has to quit a good job. I have not has even 24 hrs off since this started. I love my mom dearly and I miss who my mom uses to be sooooo much!! I'm just so tired and worn out. I'm totally exhausted!!
I wonder if these thoughts help us to get ready for our parents' passing. The anger is a grief we're going through. It could be that the preliminary anger makes it easier on us when they do pass, though I'm sure there will be feelings of guilt. I bet a lot of caregivers have these thoughts, but keep them hidden. They seem too awful to say.
For those of us who were and still are caregivers we understand and know how difficult it is but you don't want to end up in your own health crisis
I think we all go through this and it has nothing to do with the love we have for the person we are caring for. Nothing can prepare you for the task of care giver, no matter what you think.
Try to if see your mom qualifies for any in home assistants even if it is just a few hours a week. Use them and get out and do something for yourself during those times. I am starting to force myself to take even a 15 minute break everyday just to do something just for me. It is helping.
You are not alone.