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I just had a week away from taking care of my Dad in my home -- brought in paid caregivers for many extra hours of the day -- and for the first time in my memory, I did not want to come home. I'm always happy to come home, but not this time because I knew it would smell like him, sound like him and feel like him. It feels like physical pain, today, just having him here. I have thought so much about all the people who are in similar and worse situations, and especially you, Sabine. I'd love to know how you are doing and how things have moved forward.
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Jane ~ I can relate to not wanting to come home! My life is a little bittersweet right now. My "sister" and I got in a HUGE fight last week, she said some pretty ugly things (sadly, I responded in a not so nice way), which were the proverbial straws. I had given her 6 weeks notice that I was leaving to allow her some time to find someone to come in and take care of mom. After the fight, I changed it to one week. Sister hired someone to come in for a few hours for 2 days ~ it cost her a pretty penny. I am looking forward to getting out of here, but I will miss my friend, though we don't really see one another as it is. I will also miss mom, but I will call and write both of them. It is hard to contain my excitement. One of the things I have learned from this journey is this: I am sure it is probably easier to be a caretaker for someone who is not related.

I am really looking forward to being around happy people. I am looking forward to being able to focus on me! To doing what I want to do, on my schedule! All of you on here who are going through hell, please, PLEASE find a way to get someone to come in and help you AT LEAST once a week. I had a true nights rest for the first time in eons last week when the paid caretaker was here.

Many blessings and HUGS to you ALL! Thank you for your support.
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Good for you Sabine. I know all this was VERY difficult for you and her. You are doing what is good for you and she will be OK too.

This happened to me whereas a friend of mine stayed with me/mom for 3 months and she went nuts!! Being that it was my mom there was no quitting for me -- and I met a great gal across the street that would watch my mom, my sister began coming down every 2 weeks (just company!!!) bla bla -- it actually worked out better!
Here's to you - kiddo -- 'RAISE YOUR GLASS' as Pink would say!!

You did the right thing. Sometimes when all involved can't express themselves properly it's easier to just allow the frustration inside of us to handle it - doesn't typically come out in a good way.. ... This too shall pass.
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I get so tired of people who think that everyone else is just like themselves. Situations are similar but not exact. Sabine, do not let others judge you because of what they have done. Caregiving is not for everyone. Being able to admit that is admirable. Why force someone to caregive who has admitted it is not for them. I have found that we are all individual and our ability to take care of an elderly person is difficult to say the least. If I were you, I would talk with your friend/sister because you don't want to lose the friendship. Tell her you need to back away but will be there for her emotionally. Between the two of you, you should be able to find alternative solutions that benefit both of you.♥!!
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Sabine: so happy for you. I'm having a rotten day and i don't blame you at all. lesson learned!
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