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My mother reported the owner/caretaker, Myrna, to her psychiatrist for abuse because the woman is screaming at her constantly. The psychiatrist reported her to adult protective services. I met this woman and she IS very abrasive to my mother, even in front of me. She is frustrated and angry with my mother because my mother cannot get around due to casts on both legs. I began looking for a different home, but without much luck because my mother has a tiny income. Then this woman treated my mother so roughly in front of a nurse and receptionist, and was so rude to the receptionist at my mother's doctor appointment, that my mother's primary care doctor called the police to report her for elder abuse again. I finally found a board and care home to tour with my sister next week, but frankly the place looks frightening on googlemaps even if the woman on the phone sounds nice. Then Myrna calls me and says that my mother will be moved out on Monday, that she is taking her to the bank to get cash out, (another thing that i am VERY uncomfortable with!) But when asked, she didn't know the name of the place, and wasn't certain of the owner's name, but gave me the name Nellie. She did give me a phone number and I have been able to do a search since then. What I am angriest at is that she tells me on a Saturday when I cannot get a hold of this new place, or the agency I am working with, so that I can find out if it is a safe place to place my mother. Myrna tells me that she wants my mother out because she has another person coming in who is going to pay more money. And she tells me that my mother should not lie so much. I assume she means about the emotional abuse.

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I understand, it is not always possible and in this case you are doing the best thing for your mother and for you. Sorry if it seemed harsh, you are obviously a caring daughter and so is your sister. Elderly are can be difficult, hang in there you are doing a good job.
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planeman, you are correct and I know that's what I need to do. I just have no idea how to go about finding the right lawyer, other than the yellow pages. And that doesn't seem like the best idea given the importance of the situation. I'm going to ask a few friends if they can recommend anyone.

crystalmoon, neither my sister or myself live in an apartment large enough to have room for my mother. Nor are we equipped emotionally to deal with her. you might think that sounds horrible, but we think we are smart not to take care of her if it would cause us to snap. And it so totally would; I assure you. My sister visits her at least once a week, and I take her to her doctor appointments which seem to happen weekly or biweekly. My mom is a hypochondriac.
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Well if it was me, I would take care of my mother myself but of course this is not always possible, but then when you were a baby your mother had to make the same decisions and choices.
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Dear PamelaSue, Your emails give one the belief that you are a caring and loving daughter who is concerned not only for your mother but, also, for her finances. You might, however, consider the importance of doing things properly.By all means, talk to a lawyer even though it might cost a few bucks, probably less than a hundred dollars (you can ask what a conference will cost when you call for an appointment).You know the old saying, "Penny wise and pound foolish". Trying to manage complicated affairs on your own can result in some big time losses later. I retired as a lawyer over 20 years ago and I saw my share of messes that people got into on their own.

P.S. I don't fill my own teeth, change the oil in my own car or repair my own furnace either.
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Well I brought my mom there today. What a day! After an appt of my own, (never had time for breakfast mind you), I stopped by walmart, picked up some vitamins/minerals, a walker, some other odds/ends. I finally got to my moms. I packed her all up, put it in my truck, and loaded her up too. Got her into the truck a lot easier than what's her name got her into/out of a little car.

Found out mom's doctor's appointment wasn't where I thought. Fortunately, I did know where it was. Mom's casts came off; both of them! She has been given boots. She doesn't like the walker I bought, (naturally), so the doctor prescribed one that she does like. She is supposed to call the Physical Therapy people in two days; I asked the board/care owner to please remind her. They seem to be very kind. The home is clean, cluttered, but clean. I don't care as long as they are clean. Heck, I AM cluttered, LOL!

Took me a while to unpack and put everything away neatly for mom. Kinda hurt that all her pics were of my second dad and none of my own dad. I love both of them, but hey, my daddy, huh? I called my sis and she tells me that it upsets her too. My dad loved her so much and I know his faults, every single one of them, but nothing he did deserves such disdain. My mother has done nothing but hurt me, my entire life from infancy, and use us all.

After I unpacked and put it all away nicely, I filled out a hundred papers. Well, at least it felt like it. Mom wanted me to got to the pharmacy and pick her up something for a cold sore, but I told her I was exhausted, (8:30pm), and I still hadn't had more than a tiny bag of potato chips the whole day long. She was unhappy with me, but took it fairly well.

I'm going to sleep after I check email, and facebook for my daughter. She has lost her cellphone. I want to heart about her OB appt today. I am having another grandchild.
: )
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It would be worth it to see an elder lawyer-your Mom could pay for that-he or she can tell you what must be done to protect your Mom also lots of people do not know that goglemaps can take pictures of the outside of buildings I just found out my self recently and I want to add your Mom is lucky that you are being so careful of your Mom's concerns and you are right to get her away from that horrible women-itf you want you could put her name and address on AC so others woukd not fall pry to her.
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Both places are licensed. My sister managed to tour the new facility today, (it's closer to where she lives), and she says that the owners seem very nice, so we are hopeful. It is indeed as clean on the inside as it appears to be on the outside, and it's entirely wheelchair access. I am going over to my mom's tomorrow to oversee the transfer myself, I have reiterated to my mother once again that she is not to go to the bank with anyone if they should try to take her before I get there.

Maxxs Granny, I use googlemaps because they take photos of the outside of addresses, this gives me an idea of what neighborhoods and individual homes look like from the outside. Think about it, you don't want your loved one to live in what looks like a broken down home.

The next thing my sister and I need to do is get durable power of attorney, We have no idea how you do that.
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Please, whatever you do, don't let that woman go to the bank and take cash out with your mom. We know from experience, a caregiver played tricks with going to the bank and took our aunt's money. lots of it too.
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The first place to check is the contractual statement you or your mother signed when she moved into the current location. I do not know of any facility who does not have to comply with a min of 30 day notice... However the following statement realy confussed me. " I finally found a board and care home to tour with my sister next week, but frankly the place looks frightening on googlemaps even if the woman on the phone sounds nice." Location on googlermaps seems the least of your problems... Make sure the next place you move her into has in their contract a notice clause.
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I would check with the state licensing agency-but you probably want your Mom somewhere else-this does not sound like a lincensed nursing home and I believe that is against the law-they use to have some when I was young but the owner/nurse was a wonderful women and they are not allowed in our state now because of one like you describe-I would try to get her in one close to where you live first and go from there then when she is safe you might want to sue that women.
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