I just became POA over my mom and now I have to figure out how to handle her SS check. She has moderate Dementia and isn't able to handle her own bills. Would it be better for me to become Representative Payee, open her a checking account and I could pay bill or should I get a joint account and now worry about Representative Payee.
Carol
On the bank account and SSI front ... does your Mom already have her own bank account? In my situation, we have my Dad's bank account set up so that every bill that can be is paid automatically from his account on a monthly basis. His social security and pension checks are similarly deposited directly to his account ... so there are rarely any checks to be cashed or managed. In our particular situation, we set up his bank account as a joint account (with me as the other account holder), but I have been very careful NOT to put any of my personal funds in this account, nor do I write checks out of the account for anything except services and items for him. I want to be sure that if anyone (e.g., family members, government programs, etc.) needs to "audit" what I've done down the road in terms of managing my Dad's finances, everything will be very clean and untangled.
Being a "joint account holder" makes it easy for me to keep an eye on the account online (from another state) and make sure the bills being paid are "normal" for him. This is how I first started to spot a vast increase in the number (and amounts) of checks he was writing to random telemarketing and snail-mail fundraisers -- many of which he didn't specifically remember, and which added to my growing concerns about his memory and judgment issues. I also discovered checks that he had written to the IRS and state department of revenue, which he didn't remember, but which alerted me to the fact that he had received additional bills from these entities, and then to work with his accountant to track down the reasons why, and to get the charges reversed. (My own accountant tells me that a vast number of people, particularly older people, simply pay bills that they get without ever questioning them, especially when they come from the IRS ... but it is ALWAYS worth double-checking such bills, as they are often wrong.)
Sorry, I digress -- my point was that having access to my Dad's account info online has been VERY helpful, and made it easier for me to manage his finances. But if you have access to your Mom's account online (or can register for online access in her name with a password your create), this may be sufficient to give you the same access to information.
I have similarly signed "Dad" up for online management of every "sporadic pay" account I can (for example, homeowner's insurance, car registration renewal, etc.). This makes it possible for me to go online and arrange for payment of these occasional bills directly from his checking account, or to pay them from my credit card and have him write me a check later to reimburse me. I don't have to depend on him to remember to pay (but of course, I have to remember myself!). Gradually, over time, I have submitted copies of our POA to various companies with which I know I'll need to deal directly on his behalf.
One other thought ... you said that your Mom makes too much with her Social Security and pension to qualify for Medicaid. This is also the case with my Dad, and he also has a small long-term care insurance policy, so between those three things, I know we'll be able to cover his care costs for a while. But when the LTI policy stops paying, his Social Security and pension will, as in your Mom's case, be too much to qualify him for straight-out Medicaid, but not anywhere near enough to cover the actual likely expenses of his care. My understanding is that if you reach this point, there are various arrangements you can make (depending on the state you live in) to get assistance from Medicaid; again, as I understand these arrangements, they involve the parent who needs assistance paying basically everything they make first, and then Medicaid covering the rest. In these cases, some amount of income is earmarked for the person's personal use every month (not a lot), and the rest goes toward care expenses. When the person passes away, the state may then step in and require that money it has expended be reimbursed through sale of the person's house and any other remaining assets (under some circumstances; talk to a Medicaid attorney in your state to find out what applies to your Mom's situation).
Hang in there! :-)
Well enough of my venting. Thanks for listening