Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Agree, don't wear yourself to a frazzle, seek out a program that will work for him and you. This is not unheard of and many places simply know how to deal with it.
I completely agree with Lynn! The stress to your mother needs to be taken into consideration too!
There are facilities that know how to deal with the challenges of dementia and men! It just finding one that will do so and offer VA benefits to be used.
Mr - if your dad qualifies for VA benefits - can he move into a VA nursing home? My uncle had dementia and had a bad temper. Once he was in a VA nursing home with predominantly males he was calmer and easier to get along with. He was on some mild drug but they didn't dope the heck out of him. It's like being around other men equal in strength and stuborness made him understand that he had to behave. I know it's hard to say "move him" but really, what's it doing to you? What about your Mom? Often spouses and those living with people like this area MORE stressed than the patient. You might be surprised at the sense of relief she has knowing that he won't be there to blow up. Good luck.
Thank you all for practical ideas .I made an appt for Tues at VA w/a Resident dr. can't see his PIC til Dec. call psychologist too.When he was 43 he had 3 major strokes and was paralyzed right side.learned how to write,talk,walk. dozens of TIA's since & 1 heart attack. Heart too bad to put stints in or bypass. He's 80.Kind,gentle, wouldn't hurt a flea. Friday while visiting Mom, it all blew up. We'd already planned male come in for showers. Caregiver wanted him to get one more chance. It was criminal what he did.I feel so horrible for what she went thru.I'm horrified shocked about my Dad & Very sad to have lost the best caregiver in the world. only 2 hrs day but she was so organized frying him catfish,whatever his favorites are. she really fixed 3 meals day. Was only supposed to do 1,now they will have to find a tough guy.and he won't think to do, So back to lots more work for me. With her, all I had to do mainly was take care of bills,anything financial, Insurance, dr's visits and phone calls. She even fed me and packed up picnic lunches when we went to the VA. I know it isnt my Dad's work but I still get mad when he messes up things that took a lot of work for me to set up. The consequences fall on.me, Guess I'm on the pitypotty
If seeing his MD and getting help does not work you may have to place some nurse may decide he is being neglacted and file a report on you you could try a male aide and malecaregivers but you will still have the problem of not having female friends in your home for visits if he goes on medicaide it will be determined by his assets which is more fair than if it were a spouse-you have to decide how much his being there affectes your life.
Yes, he will still feel independent if you let him shower himself with the aid of possibly a male caregiver. They do have them, you just need to request them. When my MIL went into ALF before here, a male caregiver came in to give her a shower and she freaked out. She told my DPOA SIL (Durable Power of Attorney Sister-in-Law) and she, in turn, requested a female caregiver for showers. MIL got a female.
Definitely speak with his physician and see what they recommend. try to establish rules and boundaries, remind him of behavior issues when they occur and hang in there. It is not uncommon but it sure is a pain in the...
With frontal temporal dementia, inhibitions (sexual and verbal) no long exist. With MOST dementia(s) this is a common problem.
I don't know if there truly is a way to suppress his sexual desires, but a qualified physician should! I agree DRUGS are not the answer. There may be a hormonal issue (doubtful) or a 'mental issue' that has no other recourse.
I would hate to see your father 'arrested' for sexual assault or indecent expose! It can happen! Be careful, and mindful of these possibilities. Talk to his doctor!
I am not for drugging someone but there is obviously a problem that is going on in his brain. Many times this happens with CVA or stroke and also Alzheimer's disease or dementia.
There could be an underlying reason that is causing the problem. Is he on some medications? Is it possible that he had a stroke that caused this change in his behavior? I would definately have him checked out by the Dr and possibly even a gereontologist. take care, J
Have you had your father evaluated by his Primary Care Physician? Inappropriate behavior is unfortunate, but perhaps his doctor could help you with a plan.
You need to get help for him, so you can relax too.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There are facilities that know how to deal with the challenges of dementia and men! It just finding one that will do so and offer VA benefits to be used.
Good luck.
When my MIL went into ALF before here, a male caregiver came in to give her a shower and she freaked out. She told my
DPOA SIL (Durable Power of Attorney Sister-in-Law) and she, in turn, requested a female caregiver for showers. MIL got a female.
I don't know if there truly is a way to suppress his sexual desires, but a qualified physician should! I agree DRUGS are not the answer. There may be a hormonal issue (doubtful) or a 'mental issue' that has no other recourse.
I would hate to see your father 'arrested' for sexual assault or indecent expose! It can happen! Be careful, and mindful of these possibilities. Talk to his doctor!
You need to get help for him, so you can relax too.