Follow
Share

I thought with dementia they forgot things but with O ( I can’t give name sorry) stories seem stuck on repeat. Almost a year ago people helped with cutting of trees off her property. She watched off porch, instead of wood being hauled to dump it was taken to someone who could use it and she for some reason has accused them of stealing that wood and wants a gun to kill them. (She tells everyone including her doctor.) Her doctor wanted her placed into a hospital but her daughter refused at that time until this last 2 weeks and her Mom has been calling cops daily saying lies. Saying she is being beat (when everyone else is sleeping) or they are trying to kill her. It’s gotten very bad and serious. So this next week things are being looked into to see if she can get some serious help. My question for daughter is what causes this in first place? I tried showing them this site. I read things here then tell them what I read to help out.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Neighbor1
I am so sorry your neighbor is having these issues. For a condition you describe to come on suddenly it is often a urinary tract infection. If the condition is long standing it sounds more like a mental illness although some dementias cause hallucinations as well.
it sounds like “the daughter” is seeking medical help and that is the best she can do.
I know many neighbors look out for one another and that’s a good thing.
I hope she gets help soon.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
Neighbor1 Apr 2022
I use to be the one taking care of her till the daughter moved in. I went over daily and sat with her,took her meals that I cooked my family and cleaned for her. My kids called her Grandma. So I was far more than just a neighbor. I was family till she thought I went over and helped cut her trees down and helped steal the wood. She now banned me from her property and instead of trying to make her understand she hired people and I sat on porch with her I simply decided not to cause argument and stayed away.
(5)
Report
This is a paranoid psychosis caused by her dementia. Nothing you can done about it. Perhaps her doctor could prescribe some antipsychotic medicine.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Beware, the "No good deed goes unpunished" is not just a quirky phrase.
If the daughter has refused the doctor's recommendations for her mother, she will shortly learn that constant calls to the police will earn a visit from APS, and requirement for treatment and placement, on a 5150 hold possibly.

It won't be much longer now, so back away, do not interfere. Stop listening to this very ill neighbor. Unless you see your neighbor fall outside and need to call 911 on her behalf, stay out of it. (BTW, do not pick her up).

Your input into the neighbor's issues will only delay her treatment. imo from experience.

You cared, now stay out of it.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
Neighbor1 Apr 2022
She has been a Grandma figure to my kids and myself for 16 years and we are supposed to just back away . She is not just a neighbor,she became family. I guess some people have not met people that’s not blood that they became very close to. And someone from there usually daughters husband comes over daily for ideas and help on what to do or just to talk. Should I just tell him you said I have to back away now and shut door in his face? What am I supposed to do? And in this tiny town these cops will not contact APS. The daughter asked them to they refused. They said there was nothing they can do she has to do it herself. It’s being done next week. I already said that .
(2)
Report
See 2 more replies
There isn’t anything you can do. If the woman is calling the police and they are going to show up at the door, they will tell the family what the consequences will be if the situation continues.

The daughter + family are in a bit of a pickle. It would be a lot easier if they still lived in their own home wherever it was and convinced the mother to move into a dementia unit. She does need to be checked for a UTI, but if it isn’t that, she may need anxiety medication and to have her access to a phone eliminated.

The delusions the poor lady is suffering from are part of dementia. My MIL has this, but she had them before the dementia really set in due to mental illness. At a certain point, it may become necessary for the police to take her in for an evaluation. They should let it happen and ask for help.

You can do nothing.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Divert, deflect and distract. That's my motto with my mother. You simply have to change the subject even if it feels like you're being rude. Take a deep breath and say, oh goodness where has the time gone, we forgot to call Aunt Helen back...
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Advice...
If you are not family. I mean actual DNA, marriage linked family
If you do not have POA
If you are not this persons Guardian
Back off.
What this person does and or says is the families business.
You have given them some information about this site that is as far as you personally should go.
If you think the person is being abused or neglected you can contact APS give information you think is relevant then BACK OFF.

Oh, what causes this...Dementia it can be one or more types of dementia. There can be other underlying medical conditions but...
Since you are not family, you are not POA, you are not a legal Guardian you have no right to this information.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
PattyLuna Apr 2022
I’m confused
She’s just asking for some clarity of this dementia situation. YOU need to BACK OFF and EVERYONE has the right to know what the causes are and any information about these symptoms. My gosh…
(6)
Report
See 3 more replies
Your neighbor should be checked for a urinary tract infection.

They can cause hallucinations and delirium, they can also increase dementia behavior in seniors. They DO NOT have the same symptoms as young people do when they have one.

Such a difficult situation for everyone involved. Hopefully, you can be a help to the daughter during this time. Friends are so very important for the caregiver.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Well for my wife she was irritated and wake at all times before I couldn’t handle her walking out, angry and just darn hard to care for. Meds helped but not to the extent I needed. I had to put her in a care facility. But there were preventive measures I took before that, like taking her phone, disconnected the battery on her car, and interior child safety door handles.
it seems it maybe time to take her out to dinner, and then to a facility. There’s no excellent facility out there BTW; but some are better. They all make this sound good but the reality of these care facilities is they are there to care for your loved one with a profit right in their face.
after three years of my wife in two facilities, I have brought her home now and have caregivers in my house for 9 hours a day while I work.
I found two caregivers who are excellent in their field. It’s hard to care for so many people in those facilities for one person, though they wish they could.
Hope this helps
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You are just a neighbor, so this is her family's responsibility. I do hope she gets help before anything becomes dire. If it appears worse, check in with APS.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Neighbor1: The diseased mindset of purchasing a gun by an individual with dementia is a scary ideology.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter