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I call daily to check on my husband… sometimes morning and evening besides visiting him at LEAST 3 times a week( usually more). I worry about him constantly and see his rapid decline due to Hes Alzheimer’s/ vascular dementia. They call ME with any med changes, or issues but not just to say “ he had a good day”. He’s getting wonderful care at a Veterans Health Center and the staff love him. I miss him so much but feel happy that he’s now safe.
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My mother was placed in December 2021 for PD and dementia. I visit 2-3 times a week and my father visits (meh I wish I could say every day but he doesn't). Every 3 months the facility has what is called a "care meeting" where we sit down and connect and discuss mom over all. We are very communicative with the staff and head nurse. We visit every week and make sure we are known as the very caring observant family and the days we dont' go we call to see how her day was. They do call every time she has a fall which I believe is a state requirement. Facilities are short staffed and don't have the time to make nightly calls to all of the family members. It is your right to call as often as you'd like and go visit. A squeaky wheel eventually gets oiled- so showing up and expressing, asking and showing love and concern I think helps the staff take better care of your loved one. They are less likely to forget about your loved one b/c they also remember how kind and warm the family is as a whole. Thats my thoughts and approach.
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ces2695 Feb 2022
Thank you for your response and experience with your mother.

I am one of 6 children (my mother has passed away) so at a minimum we are visiting my father 2-3x a week. He doesn't ask to call us as he doesn't remember he has any children.

My issue is our calls to the facility (he is one of 8 residents in a memory care home) go unanswered, or the mailbox for the person who manages the house isn't set up, another staff members mailbox is full, appointments are set up online to visit then when we arrive we are told - we should have called first (yet the phone isn't answered). Extensive forms we submitted with all of my father's health and personal information seem to have never been delivered to the staff. It's these types of things I find worrisome, but not much more we can do than keep visiting and making sure he's OK.

Also please know we fully understand the care of the staff at this facility is paramount to us. It's a learning curve now for us on how to navigate this new stage of care for our father.

I am going to call and ask if we can schedule some sort of follow up "care meeting". I like that idea.
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When my husband(ALZ) went in to AFH last year, the manager asked how/ when I wanted updates. I told him that unless I heard otherwise, I would assume things were okay. I prefer staff put their energy toward his care.
I KNOW he is getting better care there than when he had to rely on me 24/7. Whenever I visit/call, I sincerely thank whomever is there for their excellent care. He is 20 miles away and I wish I could have found a spot closer to home for more frequent visits, but this AFH is the best one for him and I have full confidence in them. I truly wish all you caregivers out there the best in finding the place that works for you and your LO. Peace of mind has no price.
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