She is my last living relative, blind & crippled (h&f) w/arthrits. I am 65. Her caregiver has to have back surgery & she has asked if I can take her in. I would have done this yrs age but she was always addiment..NO!
None of us want her in a NH as we all feel this would be the end for her. She is also a Christian Scientist & vegetarian. Woman whos horses I pasture in the summer is also a CS & am hoping that my Aunt will get over her not wanting to be seen by "strangers" & talk to her. (I am not a CS, but a Quaker. We both have heavy German/Jewish upbringing)
She is fine on her own for a couple (2+) hrs. so I will be able to go to store & get groc. & sups.
Will not go to Adult Day Care or Senior lunches. It will just be the 2 of us. I can take her out to the covered porch for fresh air while I do the irrigating, etc. (2 acrs.)
Bedroom downstairs next to bathroom for her to use. Plan on getting a "baby monitor" so I can hear her if needed at night. My bedroom is upstairs. She cannot climb stairs.
Schedule is mapped out with rising @ 7:30, breakfast by 9, supper @ 4:30. Light lunch midday & snacks early evening.
She likes to go to bed (but may not sleep) after the late nite news around 11. Bathroom call around 2 am than sleeps the rest of the night. She is not incontinent, nor any accidents. But does need help with toileting, bathing, etc.
Will be fixing her meals for her but if placed in proper order she eats unassisted. No meat, so no cutting. Vegs. in bite size portions.
I realize this could turn into a full time/ long term arrangement. Will approach that if/when time comes.
I was also thinking about getting & installing a bidet adaptor to downstairs toilet to help with these issues. If this is not a good idea, what kind of moist wipes would be a good choice for her? We are on a septic & they need to be biodegradable without oils.
I realize this will be a fulltime commitment without any downtime on my part but this is family & I have loved her as a Mother all my life. NH is out of the question!
Both Mother & MIL are already deceased, also FIL & all Uncles. Husband lives & works away from area so will not be an inconvenience for him or embarrassment for her.
Any other helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I believe that the perception of her comfort is more important than any that the "world" would impart to her for HER OWN sense of wellbeing.
Since the NF only performed wipe downs or sponge baths, both aunt & R feel that this is all that is necessary. Hair is dry washed once every 3 weeks.
Though this pains me, I accede to her wishes, even if I feel that these are misguided.
No I do not think that this a good place or position to be in but it is not my decision. It is hers!