Should I try care at home or assisted living?

If your husband has attacked three nurses does that not tell you something? He is not a candidate for at home living with a caregiver. In a facility there will ways be more than one person caring for him but at home what happens if caregiver is attacked and no one is around. You also say he's had a serious fall, so safety should also be considered. You shouldn't be driving him home especially on a long road trip, that also is not safe for either of you. The social worker at the facility he currently is in should makes arrangements to have him placed back somewhere near you and your family and that includes safe transport too. Unfortunately his mental condition will not get better only worse so the sooner you start on a plan the better. Best wishes.

My mom was equally out of control during the period she understood her brain was deteriorating and she was trying to be independent. Horrible anger and a fall had me remove her from her home. At assisted living, far far suburbs in Pa, no memory care local. They identified her need for medication, in her case a low dose of quetiapine to calm her anxiety. A year later she is past the angry stage, has very short term memory and seems to be accepting or perhaps just doesn't know. Her mood is stable. We brought her here a month ago and all has been fine and easily managed. I had both my grandparents life their final years in my home 20 years ago. No dementia just very old and having made no plans. Again a fall triggered the move to my house. No facility where they could have lived together as the levels are care were so different.

If you can find a facility that is closer I would transfer him there. It is entirely understandable and admirable that you are considering taking him home if a visit requires 8 hours of travel, but from the description of his condition I think you may be biting off more than you can chew. It is always harder to place someone after they are at your home. Think hard and look at alternative solutions before you move him to your home.

Went through last year with Dad having TBI issues. Mom insisted on bringing him home. They refused to get any in-home help. Numerous times it was suggested to get him into MC, but as he was still functional, we thought AL. AL wouldn't take him due to temper flare ups. Mom couldn't manage his medications. He had numerous falls. Mom had medical issues, compounded by the stress of watching him every minute. Ended with him locking her out of the house, and she finally had to drop him off at the ED and sign off that she wouldn't be taking him back home. He was sent to a psych hospital an hour away, where he developed Covid and was then sent to a hospital, where we couldn't visit. Since he had no PT/OT throughout this time, he was then bedridden and sent to hospice. So much pain and suffering when he should have just been sent to MC directly from his TBI hospital situation.
I am sharing this because you sound so much like my mom, when she brought him home against our wishes. She would never make the "hard choice" and kept waiting for "someone else" to make the decision for her, which wasn't going to happen. Once you do that, when the "emergency" occurs, and it will, you won't have any choice. He will be placed wherever there is a spot that the social worker can place him. If you have the luxury of finding an appropriate place now, I suggest you do so.