Follow
Share

Just concerns me when I hear about poor caregiving to the elderly. Bless the beast, children and ELDERLY!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Linda,

Thanks for your support and knowledge of Parkinson’s meds. Mom is only on Sinamet. She does not have extreme side effects on that drug. Different people take different drugs according to their symptoms. I appreciate your kind words.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I absolutely have not gone back and forth. I have stated what is. My mother’s doctor is very qualified and well respected in the community. I know this and don’t need validation from people who don’t even know him.

I have not ranted, just said that my uncle suffered more with his progression of Parkinson’s and I am very grateful that my mom is not in same shape as he was. Her neurologist is very thorough.

The only reason I mentioned my 97 year old cousin is that I am thrilled that she is doing so well. She is so adorable and sweet. I wish all elderly people were in such good health. So sad to watch the elderly decline. It hurts to see my mom not be able to get around like she used to. Thank God for walkers! With Parkinson’s balance is an issue so she hasn’t been able to shower alone for quite some time. We put a ramp by the door and that helps. It’s odd, she says going up a step is hard even if I pick up her walker but that is part of the neurological situation related to the Parkinson’s disease. The physical therapist says that is common.

She does suffer and we have had to do home health and of course she is on meds. She never misses her doctor appointments or labs. She has never had the side effects that are extreme. That is sad that happens to some people but not everyone gets every side effect to every drug.

Have no idea where mom’s Parkinson’s will end up but so far it has progressed slowly because she didn’t get it until later. You can ask a neurologist of your choice if you feel a need for more education. It’s like any other disease, each individual has their own experience. Unfortunately, people like Michael J. Fox who got in younger it progresses much faster. Alan Alda was also diagnosed and his is progressing slowly because he got it older.

I live in New Orleans and I know the ratings of our nursing homes. I wish with all my heart we had better rated homes with better care.

Unfortunately, Louisiana is at the bottom of the heap in public schools and nursing homes. Anyone can look it up. There are a few that are okay but the majority are awful.

Hospice has been good. Assisted living is good also. It’s very sad. I wish everyone had excellent nursing homes. The elderly deserve that. We are all going to get old one day.

No one knows me and I stand up for myself. I won’t allow myself to be insulted.

I am sorry if anyone misunderstands what I am expressing. Text is different than hearing someone speak or seeing their expression.

Doesn’t really matter, I am here just like anyone else to encourage others and to learn what I can. It doesn’t help if people report something that they think they know and relate it to me when it is a false statement.

If someone tells me that their loved one isn’t suffering as bad as they could be with Parkinson’s, diabetes, MS or any medical situation I am thrilled for them and would never question that.

Nor would I openly admit to anyone that I didn’t have compassion. Why go on an aging care website if there isn’t compassion for others? Doesn’t make sense.

That is extremely rude. It must be awful to be that miserable that they feel a need to tell others they have no compassion.

I am exhausted caring for mom for as long as I have but I hope I never grow bitter or resentful either towards my mom or anyone else. If I did I would hope I would apologize to them and be accountable for it.

I’m not going to address this topic again. No need to. If anyone doesn’t want to support me that is their choice and I fully accept that.

I did not join join this site to be called a liar or to be accused of being in denial. But if anyone wants to do that because they think they know my life better than me and it makes them feel better to do, it won’t make any difference to me. I know the truth and that is what is most important. I don’t have power to change anyone, nor do I want to. I’d rather focus on the positive aspects of this site.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Ropinirole is the drug that has the side effect of addictive and compulsive behavior. It's used in the early stages of PD as a dopamine agonist, and discontinued when the carbidopa/levadopa is started. It's way of holding off on starting C/L, as that has it's own side effects. More than likely, your mother is off the ropinirole. She's blessed to have good cognitive function.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Linda,

She really is blessed that it has progressed slowly. It’s tough though. I noticed a big improvement when she did physical and occupational therapy to help with strength and balance.

I have the bed rail and bars in shower with shower chair. She can’t shower alone.

Her neurologist said it’s progressed slower because mom got Parkinson’s disease when she was older. The people who get it younger fare much worse, like Michael J. Fox.

Sad. They can do that surgery but mom was never a candidate for that. It helps the younger people some.

I’m very happy that she doesn’t have dementia with it like some people.

The people in the nursing homes I visited that had Parkinson’s were much worse off than mom.

None of the residents were very active though. They were all in wheelchairs and had those belts on so they wouldn’t fall out.

But people here only go to nursing homes as a last resort. They are like Louisiana public schools which are rated the second worst. Mississippi has the worst.

The nurses here hate working in our nursing homes. They are extremely depressing.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
NHWM, so I am confused by your response, you can't even get out of the house in one post and in the next she is completely able to do everything for herself, except she is slow.

So, having an emotional response to a loved one in a facility and one that may be going into a facility happens to everyone. I don't think that reflects on the facilities and if they are awful.

You have no intentions of ever placing your mom, so it's really a mute point. You are now getting free respite, which she doesn't need because she is perfectly able, just slow and you are ready to carry on.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
As I have said, she needs someone around the clock but she would not receive good care in our nursing homes here. I wish she would because I am exhausted.

It’s absolutely not an emotional response. I have no objection to a NH that has good care. It is needed first of all for the patient to get necessary medical help, also for families because they can’t always the care that is needed.

She has Parkinson’s. So, she has very slow rigid movements. It breaks my heart to watch. Plus the occasional tremors. She absolutely needs my help or someone else’s help. But there are many others who have much more severe issues with Parkinson’s. Her brother, my Uncle Eddie, age 96, recently died had many more symptoms of Parkinson’s, his tremors were much worse. Plus he got to where he couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t speak well anymore, loss use of his hands entirely and so forth. He suffered terribly at the end. He was fortunate and said the NH he was in was very good. I’m so glad.

He was very independent. He did well for a very long time but as the disease progressed there was no way he could remain alone. He had lived in a two story home.

He went into a NH in New Jersey where he lives. His family used to care for him. Five kids, they rotated looking after him. He couldn’t move into his daughter’s home because she had a large two story home. He could no longer navigate stairs.

Nursing homes are rated poorly here. I saw it before I even knew ratings though. I toured three of them recently, on Saturdays when my husband could look after mom, also three assisted living, which I would do for mom because they were nice.

The nursing homes were bad. I wish we had nice ones in this area. The elderly and family members of the elderly certainly deserve better facilities. So sad.

It’s wonderful that there are good nursing homes in some areas. Not here, though. Very common to see here. Whether volunteering, which I have done with my kids, also my students when I taught school, visiting family members and others and I have never seen a home that was not awful to be in. The care was not good which is most important, food was disgusting, smell was nauseating. I hope it improves one day.

I am continuing to look but I don’t want her to be too far away from us so we could visit often.

I am grateful for at least 8 hours of respite because it is emotionally draining never having any time for myself. Just having someone bathe her is a nice break. Plus it’s good for her to see other faces sometimes and good for me to be able to socialize and relax for a short while.
(1)
Report
The cameras in the common areas is a good idea. But, I found Luz one morning walking near the front lobby unescorted because no one was watching the camera/screen. That scared me a lot.
Cameras are no good if no one is watching unless you are trying to gather evidence.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Old Sailor,

Very true. In that case, why even have cameras? They should be using them for the intended purpose.

Well, look at gas stations or convenience stores that have them and they are broken. They get robbed and police have no footage to look at. That’s a shame. Would certainly be helpful if cameras were in working order and actually used.

Glad your wife was not harmed and most especially glad that you were there looking out for her. She was very blessed to have you in her corner. I know from following your posts to also know that you feel equally blessed if not more so to have had her. So heartwarming to see real love that endures. Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean you stopped loving her. I hear the love in your words. She lives in your heart. Hugs!!!
(1)
Report
NHWM, you say that you know that the facilities are terrible because a doctor said so, this being the same doctor that says a person that can't do anything for themselves and needs 24/7/365 supervision is not ready for a facility. Do you get that he is probably not all that competent in deciding this? May be a good neurologist, but seriously.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
isthisreallyreal,


Her primary care doctor says the same. She is very slow due to being 93 with Parkinson’s. So I do help her.

Her vitals are always good. Her lab work always comes back fine. Takes very few meds. No cognitive decline. She reminds me of things sometimes! She takes her own meds, keeps track of it herself and never misses her medication. She still balances her checkbook. She pays all of her bills, just her QVC, pharmacy, Humana insurance. doctor appointments, etc.

Makes donations to church and charities. No one believes her age. Not bragging but the woman doesn’t have one wrinkle on her face! Still has gorgeous skin and lovely snow white hair. Does not look her age!

My cousin, mom’s side of family is 97 and still drives. Strong women in my family! She still goes to exercise class and lives in a senior citizen apartment building, not NH or assisted living. She is amazing! Not even a cane or walker. My mom has the walker.

It is confusing about her care. I question that part. Her Parkinson’s has progressed very slowly. I’m very grateful for that. So many people suffer so much more than mom does.

He is one of the top neurologist here. He’s very good. But he was speaking on a personal level. He felt as anyone here that wants good care for their loved ones to have better quality nursing homes.

I went to see nursing homes for myself and as soon as I stepped inside my car I started to cry. When I went to visit my godmother in the NH I cried on the way home. Was horrible.

They simply are not good here. Some have even been closed down by the state. One had charges brought against them because they didn’t evacuate residents during our horrible hurricane Katrina. The residents died!

I am glad they are good in other other areas but not here. Ours are rated very poorly. Very sad.

The assisted living facilities are nice. Hospice is okay but the nursing homes are not great here.
(1)
Report
Cali,

Yeah, sometimes I don’t remember a world before this camera trend and part of it is disturbing for sure.

Won’t stop crimes or any type of abuse. Look at the idiots who commit offenses just to have their ‘20 minutes of fame.’

Look at YouTube, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. Everything is photographed these days!

When cameras are used appropriately it is fantastic, otherwise a nightmare. I wonder where this is all heading. Any thoughts? Thanks for feedback.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

As stated earlier, I think most nursing homes already have cameras in the common areas - my parents’ nursing home does. They do not have cameras in the rooms, and I disagree that nursing residents are beyond caring if someone was videotaping them while they were being changed or dressed. Even if they were bed-bound and beyond comprehension (which many residents are not), patients still deserve respect and their privacy.

There was a case in our state in which a reporter snuck into a memory care facility and took a photo of a man’s wife in her room. Her husband was a candidate for office and she was in the last stages of Alzheimers. He took the photo to embarrass and discredit the candidate who apparently had a relationship with another woman. The reporter was caught before he could publish it, and he was arrested and sent to prison.

I can understand that people are concerned about patients’ welfare and feel that cameras would force the staff to give better care, but all citizens, no matter the age, have protections that insure their privacy in places in which they should expect it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Treeartist,

Perfect example of a sleazy person with a camera! Horrible, glad he is in jail!
(1)
Report
I only bring up this topic due to the poor quality of nursing homes in our area. I respect those of you who feel it would be insulting or uncomfortable.

Like I said, it is highly controversial and for good reason. I also see where it could possibly be useful in certain circumstances but it would have to be regulated that film couldn’t be used to manipulate or harm residents or employees in any fashion. That would be a nightmare.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This is a funny story. When my godchild was at his first communion mass.

The priest said before mass started that receiving communion is a holy, sacred sacrament. He explicitly told parents, grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, etc NOT to video tape or any still photos were allowed during mass. Photos could be taken before or after the service.

Well, wouldn’t you know, one mother did not listen to the priest and Father loudly screamed at her, “ You with the camera, kneel!” Get on your knees and repent!” She looked mortified and did kneel down. I think she was shocked that he did that. This priest was very conservative and did not appreciate cameras in church.

Cameras are allowed in church for weddings. The Catholic Church has stipulations for when photos are to be taken because first and foremost the sacrament is the priority and is respected.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am just thinking that there is a trend to use cameras. Look at how police officers are using cameras now.

Daycares are using cameras.

Are there sleazy people using them too? You bet! A local restaurant caught an employee using a camera in the ladies restroom to watch them undress.

Someone else was caught using a camera in the bedroom of a B & B.

I see both sides, the pros and cons. Do you all think it will one day be desired by the family of residents or even the residents themselves? Do you think people will get used to being filmed and see it as just part of the job? Look at bank employees. They are always on camera.

Crimes or abuse will not stop just because a camera is on someone. May deter some people but not everyone.

Please give your opinion no matter what side you are on. Thanks.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
worriedinCali Apr 2019
i was going to say something similar earlier about this. Why do people want cameras everywhere? Do they make people feel safer? They don’t make me feel safer because......if someone is intent on committing a crime, they are going to do it whether there are cameras or not. Banks get robbed all the time. Stores get shoplifted and robbed all the time. I do think that cameras CAN be a deterrent but again, if someone is hell bent on committing a crime, cameras won’t stop them. And in the case of nursing homes, there will be areas where cameras aren’t allowed because of privacy laws. So someone who wants to commit a crime will just do it in those areas.

BUT in the flip side, cameras can be used to catch the bad buys and clear everyone else from wrongdoing. And if the crime is being committed ON camera, if someone is being assaulted for example, and the cameras are being monitored, then help can be summoned immediately.

I worked in the front office of a tow truck company. 3 years in, the owner had a camera installed in the front office. He said it was in case we ever got robbed (armed robberies are a daily occurance here). Didn’t bother me as I had nothing to hide, I came in and did my job & went home at the end of the day. My nightly deposit which was anywhere from $800-10,000 was always accounted for, everything balanced. Some of my co-workers felt that the camera was a sign of mistrust! They were not happy at all. They had nothing to hide either. I did catch a co-worker falsifying his invoices & pocketing the cash but he wasn’t one of the ones who complained about the camera. And what a coincidence! The employee who worker in a back office, that was caught embezzling thousands of dollars, did not have a camera in their office. But even if there was a camera, the crime wouldn’t have been discovered by watching the camera footage. Camera footage played no part in the embezzlement I stumbled upon either—I discovered that when an insurance company called about a invoice their insured submitted for reimbursement, I forget exactly what they needed and why I had to dig out the original invoice but I pulled it out and during the course of the conversation, I discovered that there was a discrepancy in the amount written on our invoice & the amount on the invoice the insurance agent had. Our invoices were the type that had 3 copies. Our copy had clearly been altered, the employee had changed $55 to $25 after giving the customer their copy of the invoice.
(1)
Report
Yeah, I get what you’re saying, MidKid.

I can see how cameras in common areas for security purposes are good.

There was a case in Baton Rouge where a serial killer killed a resident in a senior facility, can’t remember if it was NH or AL. Anyway, took awhile to track this guy down. If I think of the place I will message you and you can read about it. They even did a crime tv show on it. Was awful, the elderly woman was viciously murdered. Even law enforcement said they had never seen such vicious crimes. The serial killer himself said that he was evil and that had they not caught him he would continue to kill. The facilities here that I visited all had codes for door to enter the buildings after dark.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There are more than a few ways to look at this. I worked in a daycare center where we were always on camera. I did nothing wrong, but I found it distracting. It promoted an atmosphere of distrust between the administration and the staff, I thought. However, when I was accused of grabbing a child by the arm, the video proved I hadn’t. Before I left, they were preparing to put in more cameras that would allow the parents to watch us as well. It was too much. It’s a world of mistrust, it seems.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Ahmijoy,

This is a great reply of how it is good in one way and bad in another. Truly controversial, right?

Tell me why you found it distracting. The school I worked in did not have cameras. It was an advantage for you. Proved you were innocent, I’m glad.

I would not have cared about the cameras. We have cameras on us all the time.

Thanks for sharing.
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
I think that most caregivers do the job because they actually care, it surely isn't because they will get rich or appreciated.

I have had a number of family and friends in facilities and the care as a whole is great. That a couple people say it's awful and they starve the residents is just crap.

Caregivers feel the attitudes of people and if you are not appreciative and grateful they will not be nice to you. Why should they? Being grateful and acknowledging them with words and acts goes a long way to lift their spirits. Just like this forum, some are great and some are trouble makers, does that make all of us bad? Generalizations just make me mad.

Caregivers work hard to take good care of others loved ones, they do the best they can and if they can't force your mom to eat, any more then you could, then they are starving them. People in facilities still have rights, whether anyone agrees with them or not they still get to make personal choices. Who the he11 wants to live long in a facility because they were forced when they would rather not.

Let's stop creating a hostile environment towards professional caregivers, it is really ugly.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
We should be grateful and respectful. We should also pay more for an important job.

Let’s pay teachers and police officers more too while we are at it. Where would we be without them?
(0)
Report
This is a hot topic in Australia at the moment. You might be interested in the following news site, or some of the links in it:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-25/secret-surveillance-cameras-in-grandmas-nursing-home-legal/10298834
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Thanks Margaret,

I will read info later on. Appreciate it.
(0)
Report
Some allow it so do not. It might depend on if it is a shared room or private.
Audio may not be permitted it depends on regulations but in general for audio there needs to be 2 party consent.
You would have to ask the facility if cameras are permitted.
And cameras would not be permitted in washrooms or shower areas.
People do forget that they are there.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
worriedinCali Apr 2019
2 parry consent actually depends on the state. Many states are only one-party consent.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Interesting.
Why would it be insulting to staff? They should welcome documentation that they are doing a great job.
I could see where it would violate the privacy of the elder. But my experience is by the time you reach a NH you don’t have any of that left.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
worriedinCali Apr 2019
It would be insulting because it may give the impression that the stuff is not trusted.
(0)
Report
See 4 more replies
Some facilities do have cameras in the 'common areas' and the entrances, which I think are for security purposes. To have them in the patients' rooms brings up a whole new level of concern about privacy, etc.

If you are having in home CG's, I think it might be OK as long as the CG knew that you had these in the home. In a facility--I don't know. Probably so many legal issues to deal with.

And yes, it would probably be highly insulting to the staff. I worked Elder Care as a 'career' and thinking I was being videotaped all day--I would have walked out and never come back.

Just my opinion.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter