Shout out to my fellow caregivers.

Oh my, do take care of yourself as so many have already written here.
Have your doctors suggested that other directly related (children, siblings) family members be evaulated for stroke?
Hope you're on the mend. Find out if you can extend your break from caregiving as long as possible-say 1-2 decades.... : )

So glad you are okay, but what a scare! please continue to take care of yourself. I actually have much more stress handling my mom's estate now that she is gone than I did caring for her. She was in care facilities the last few years, but still the every day concern for her welfare was on me alone for the most part. One son helped a bit for a little while, and luckily she had enough money to keep her well cared for at assisted living and memory care when it got too much for me. The last four months of her life were the worst and I took a family leave of absence from teaching to be with her every day. Stress was bad all the way through the ten years. But the estate matters now. OMG! And a niece is coming after me for all she can get, ruining the family peace. There isn't even much money left. It feels it will never end. My health has suffered some because I was not taking care of myself a lot of the time, as Mom's constant issues seemed more important. I know better now and yes, my doctor reminds me every time I see her that it has been hard and I must find ways to relax. I hope everyone follows the advice of InFamilyService.

InfamilyService, I am sorry you had a stroke. That is so scary. I am glad you recover 100%. Gosh, it could have gone south, and terribly wrong.

Yes, stress is a silent killer. I hope you will not go back to the caregiver roll, not without support.

I’m sorry this happened to you!

Thanks for writing and letting us know.

I hope that someone is helping to give you a break now! 😀

Im so glad that you are ok..what a terrifying experience - thank you for the warning. Wishing you good health going forward and it's great your family is caring for you.

Self-care is very important - I';ve finally realized it as mom's dementia drags on and on. I'm hiring a cleaning lady to get a break. I used to feel my heart racing sometimes trying to get mom her food on time ..but not much anymore. No harm if she waits a few minutes..there's always fruit and snacks on the counter.

I'm glad you're okay. It's true too many times the caregiver neglects their own health because they're too busy with everyone else's.

First, so glad you pulled thru this but this IS a warning. That you can't continue this way. Stress does a number on your body.

Its time to place Mom and Aunt if not already. Then allow the facilities to take on as much as they can. Then, you have to realize that the care they get in a facility is not the one on one care they got with you. But...they are being cared for. This will be hard, I know. You want to be here for your grands to watch them grow up.
You want to be able to just visit Mom and Aunt with none of the responsibility.

If you have a belief in God, then ask him to provide the next step.

My Mom lived with me for 20 months. I went to the AL up the street to see if I could place her for respite care to go to nieces wedding. While there I found they were having a half price sale on room and board. That meant her money would last a year and hoped her house would sell within that time I signed her up. Her transition to a NH went pretty well too. I believe when things go this well, Gods hand is in it.

Take care if yourself. Let people do for you. Let someone else deal with Mom and Aunt. Ask God for solutions and he will provide. I am not a religious person, but I believe this.

Thank goodness you are doing well! Please take care of yourself. I’ve always tried to be realistic and felt like I’m dealing with things fairly well - husband with AD & a teen now acting out, but had an incident the other day & while casually talking to someone about it I burst into tears. So maybe not truly handling things as well as I thought. I think we all need to have a Plan B (at minimum) ready to go, and accept it just isn’t healthy to expect to manage everything alone. Appreciate your post & wish you well!

I am so sorry. I am so glad the recovery is 100% but I know that you know the next one well may not have recovery that gives you any quality of life.
I am just hoping there is someone else who can work not on placement of family so that this doesn't happen again, and in a much much worse way.
Do know, InFamily, that many have strokes who do not give care to others. Even some young folks in the prime of living have them. But now you know you have had one you have to be very careful. Stress and cortisol levels up and down are chaotic to our every system.
Take care and stay well, and do know others need to take over now and work on placement. You should work on being down to visits only. Not going to be easy given your habits formed in caregiving. But may be crucial to your well being. Thoughts and best wishes out to you.

You are officially a caregiver statistic.

Praise God that you have rebounded 100% and there is care in place that isn't you.

Continue to take care of you, keep that other care for mom and Auntie, forever.

Best wishes for the future to be bright and healthy.

get well soon!!!!

AND THANK YOU for the warning.

yes let’s be super careful:
-mental stress
-physical stress

i feel it.
i’ll do all i can to stay maxi healthy.

please recover completely and fast, dear infamilyservice.

bundle of joy

Infamilyservice, your story is a cautionary tale. Even those who are suited to family caregiving face enormous stress. For the next 3-6 months, your priority must be regaining any functionality lost for the same unselfish reasons. If you can’t cut your food or take a walk or drive by 3-6 months, it becomes increasingly likely that you never will.

Your job right now is to take care of you. And if you need aides, housekeepers etc so that u can focus on pt, please get them Good luck and I pray for a swift recovery.