A little over 2 years ago I had to take over the care of our mother. My sister had been taking care of her for several years. I thought she was doing a good job of taking care of mom. But, Mom had gotten hurt several times during the last few years while she was taking care of her. Several times during this time (5 times) mom had to go to the emergency room for care. The last time mom had go to the emergency room she was admitted to ICU. Of course I came to the hospital every time. I was always willing to help wherever ever I could with mom. And in between I the times that mom was home from the hospital I was coming and taking mom to her doctor and physical therapy appointments. The last time just after mom came home from the ICU my sister left my mom all alone and called me after she had left to come take care of mom it was "my turn!" During this time my sister had a midlife crisis. She was having marriage problems had been having financial problems and had been not coming home sober for a while. During this mess I found my mom's old Will and old POA I helped my mom to have it changed so I could take care of her at that time. Sense this time my older brother has passed away from Esophageal Cancer almost a year ago. I am the middle child of 3 children. My sister got a divorce from her 2nd husband and has had 2 DUI's and 2 Domestic Violence offense which have resulted in jail time. She is now married her 3rd husband (just 1 day after divorce was final from her 2nd husband). And during her 3rd marriage she acquired the 2nd domestic violence offense. Now today she is demanding that I have our mom moved to a place of her choosing.? In the past she used my mom for her money(I have documentation) now I am afraid that she will move mom to a place that will allow her to take advantage of her and her money. Mom has been doing great ever sense I had to step in. Could you suggest who and what I should do to keep my mother safe from my sister. I know that mom enjoys her visits and mine but, I think that my mom is scarred of my sister for her safety. Any help to point me in the right direction would be a huge help. ML2

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You have POA, right? You control your mother's finances. How does your sister think she can pay for mother's care in another place if you do not approve of moving her? Ain't gonna happen as far as I can see.

Do you also have medical POA, sometimes called health care proxy, for your mother?

I think you should talk to the nursing home staff and make it clear that your sister is allowed to visit Mother, but that Mother is not to leave the NH with her.
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