i have med poa for my demented mom. i have the letter from her doctor stating her condition & he also recommends in the letter to get help for her. i want to get her help, but my mom & my brother, who has financial poa disagree. she had fallen once & had surgery because of the fall. i don't think she should live by herself anymore. how can i expedite the process of getting help for her before she hurt herself again? can i jus hire the care-giver & send the bill to my brother? do i have legal rights to do this? can my brother refuse to pay & if so what will happen to my mom?
If he won't listen to reason, a family mediator may help. Your local social services should be able to refer you to one. You could see an elder law attorney, if necessary. I think in the end you'd win, but you'd still be putting out money. First, try an old friend or a clergy person, if there is one available, to see if they will listen to a third party. The next step is a mediator. The more drastic step is an attorney.
You can go ahead and hire help, but if your brother won't pay the bill with your mom's money, then you may be stuck, so try to get agreement ahead. Good luck. You aren't alone with this.
Carol
It is not a responsibility to be taken lightly and it will impact all of your life. Take the burden on with serious forethought...for it can't be passed on to others once you have taken it. These seven years have aged me...but also have given me a wiser view on how I want to face my last years. I am protecting my children from having to face these terrible decisions by preparing advanced directives, purchasing long term care insurance and making a tight will with the proper documentation and organized record keeping. I will not waste their memories of me by forcing them to baby sit me or use up their retirement years on me.