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Has 3 years before she cannot afford memory care

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When she runs out of money she goes on LTC Medicaid. If the facility she is in now doesn't take Medicaid, she will need to transfer to one that does. The question is are you or someone else in the family going to take charge of that process? The memory care facility will likely look to a family member to take care of everything. You don't have to, just so you know. If no one steps up, the facility will likely get a state social worker to step in, but then you would lose control over where she will go to.
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My mom has 15 months of money left. I am her POA. I live in a subsidized housing building. I have been told she will not qualify for a NH {Virginia} if she stays this healthy. She was turned down last month. Her doctor recommended it due to her level of extremes with Lewy Body Dementia. She currently is in a dementia assisted living. $5000 a month. She is unsafe alone. Wanders at night. Can not use a stove or microwave. Is incontinent. Needs meds under lock and key and she has had numerous falls. We have been told if she stays this healthy she will need move into an efficiency independent apartment in the HUD apartment building I live in {rent $350}. It will make me her full time care giver and medicaid will help pay for “some extra services” like helping with her showers etc. she is 90 this year. I am 72 with major numerous back disc issues and it is unsafe for me to lift. She has a strong possibility of living many more years. Every state is different. Check with your state medicaid office. In the next 6 months I will need to get started looking for her next move. Everything takes time. Good Luck..to keep me sane I see a mental health counselor!
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mstrbill May 2023
I don't believe that is necessarily correct. I wouldn't just sit there and take what whoever told you that as what has to be the case. You yourself are in no way required to be her full time caregiver, for starters, even if you were fully able to do it. The state of VA would be putting your mother's life in danger if they set her up in an independent apartment without 24/7 supervision. When and if the time comes, contact VA APS and make it clear to them you are unable to safely take care of your mother, and your mother's life is in danger if they put her in an independent apartment. Trust me, it doesn't have to be the way you described unless you want it to be.
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My uncle was paying for memory care from his own funds. Once the money ran out, they moved him right into a NH. Call Aging Services to see how that works. You have to receive less than approx. $1,200/month to qualify for medicaid. Your mother still has some money. I would try to get her into a NH and pay privately. Once that money is gone, apply for Medicaid again. You need to tell them that she is unable to do the basic "Activities of Daily Living" (ADLs) without assistance, which are feeding herself, bathing herself, dressing herself, getting to the bathroom. See list online.
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Welcome to the Forum. So glad to have so many new members.

That really is a choice. I assume that you have looked at the options and found the best care you can for the best price. That is about all you can do. The options are, when the money is gone, to apply for Medicaid. This will likely mean a transfer to another facility with fewer amenities, but one that does accept Medicaid.

You will have, I am assuming, read the options in care contracts in facilities in your area. The contract usually has the fine print as to whether or not your facility accepts Medicaid patients. Some few do. And if there is a choice it is best to choose the facility that will provide ongoing care.

Given that you still have three years, a lot can change in that time. I would just do what you are able at present and then the chips will fall where they may. Chips tend to do that no matter WHAT the fine plans of mice and men.

I sure wish you the best. This is a worry so many in our nation face.
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3 years can be a long time. You don't mention the age of family member. I know I spent alot of mental energy concerning myself with this very issue. My mother recently passed at 92. She had physical health issues that I felt would be a terrible fit in a Medicaid situation. Her fees in SN were approaching $12,000. That was going to be very hard for my husband and I to pay. I imagined having to sell our house. She had been on Palliative Care twice in over 2 years and then rallied. This final time on Hospice lasted 5 months. For most of those months her vitals were stable but she was bedbound and had a serious bedsore. Everything was declining and I didn't want her to suffer but the end of the end came faster than I was expecting. Perhaps if you provide more information here you might get some different perspectives. You might be worrying too much about a move that might not happen.

Hope you find the help you need. A little information can possibly be reassuring.
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Contact your area county office of aged and disabilities… good resource. If I had to do it over, I would have moved my mom earlier to an AL that had a memory care when she could self pay for at least two years .. selection goes down with the less time of self pay.. my mom had just short of a year of self pay.. I was lucky to find a place that was adequate…

google care advisors when you start looking , get someone local who will meet with you… cuts all the red tape , streamlines your search
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PussycatW91 Jun 2023
It is not easy to get someone local to assist. That is my dilemma, and with 2 weeks to choose a place.
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Please check into in home care for her! If she is on Medicaid there are programs that will help pay for the care. We have one here called IRIS. They are wonderful and also allow family members to be care givers. They will also help pay for things she might need in the home as well as activities outside of the home.

They have programs available like this in every state. It is not necessary to throw them into a nursing home, where they take away everything you own and the care is often horrible. There is so much abuse and neglect in those places. Even when you try to check on your loved one every day, they often lie to you. It is best to ALWAYS have family and friends involved in watching out for them. Don't ever let the state take control!
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Keepyourheadup1 Jun 2023
You are so accurate. The Humana health plan and their heavy case laden overworked case managers and their vendors I. E. Providers; home health agency; physical therapist; willingly and some unaware they were hurting me and my relative. They were hell bent on proving to me that they had the power and not me. Avoid case managers. Manage your own services for you or your family. Get what you need apart from health plan coming to your home. Pay out of pocket if you can like for physical therapy. Call the County Senior Department and see what they have available to you. They come out to do an application and supervisors may come out but not monthly or 9 times a year like health plans have to. Caregiving is a great skill and knowledge about all that is needed as well.
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https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/how-to-pay-memory-care
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Get on the government giveaway programs. Fortunately she is single so finances are limited start applying for care
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More than likely, when assets are about to run out, you will apply for Medicaid to pay for her care. You should go ahead and talk to the memory care facility to find out if they take Medicaid for payment or if she would have to move to another facility...maybe regular NH. They can tell you how your state handles that situation. As you get close to the actual date of depleting money, you can again talk to current facility to see if rules have changed and for them to help you with the Medicaid application process.
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