My sister brainwashed our mother into making her POA, and has since taken my mother and her money. How can I see her again?

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My sister brainwashed our mother into making her POA, and has since taken my mother and her money. How can I see her again?

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I have been taking care of my mother for 13 years with no help from family. I was able to get my mother money when father died for health reasons. The money was put in the bank. I have been POA for 3 years. Mother visited sister for 5 weeks, and all of a sudden the person that has never helped brainwashed mother into making her POA and has since taken the money and my mother, telling her I am taking the money. I have a perfect record. Now I'm worried about mom's health. She has lived with me 3 years through a heart attack, and diabetes. I am heartbroken that my mother may think I stole money. My sister keeps her from talking to me, but I love my mother and am not worried about money, only her and her health. What can I do to prove this to her, and to see her again which my sister does not want? We all know why. I need help I am heartbroken and sick, she is my best friend.

Care Decisions Caregiving Financial Planning Power of Attorney (POA)

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Get an attorney.

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I might add that abuse of POA is a crime. Get conservatorship and make her account for every dime spent. This is what I did. There is state and federal laws against POA abuse. This includes time in jail and very hefty fines. A POA must follow the law. Get a lawyer asap.

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POA can not take your mothers money. What you need to do is get a lawyer and take her to court. The same thing happened to me. The law is on your side. I am POA for my mother and it clearly states I receive no money for helping my mother. This is a clear case of elder abuse been there.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with the suggestion that you may need to look into declaring Mom incompotent. It's painful, but necessary if you ever have to challenge what your sister is doing. Do you have any documentation from a doctor that could substantiate that Mom may not be in the best shape to handle such decisions?

As for the whole "use technology to your advantage" spiel. That's great if you are a tech savvy person, but as a person who teaches seniors beginning computers, that is often NOT the case. Not all seniors are comfortable with technology or have the physical capacity to even use the resource. If they have vision issues, hearing issues, or cognition issues, something as "simple" as a debit card or website would be like speaking Greek (trust me... I know from first hand experience). These folks came up in a time where cash was key, and sometimes the technology is intimidating.

So... it may be time for an attorney. It's going to be hard to prove anything to a bank now that you no longer have POA.

If the POA is too cumbersome, you may be able to set up a fiduciary to handle mom's financial affairs, but at this point that may be putting the cart before the horse.

I'm so sorry this is happening. Greedy siblings are the worst.

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The first thing you're going to want to do is see if she's even competent to make this decision. If she's not, you'll definitely need a lawyer to go for guardianship/Conservatorship. While you're at it, it would also be a good idea to call the APS if she's been declared incompetent. POA actually leaves you sitting duck to be taken advantage of and even robbed. She should not have to feel like she needs a POA if she can pay her own bills. She should actually be signed up for online bill pay set up from her end, no one should be touching her money but her. No one else has any business with their hands in her bank account. Going digital is actually the best thing you could ever do to protect yourself. I speak from experience because no one takes advantage of me. All of my transactions are recorded with my bank and there's definitely no one on my bank account. I set up online auto bill pay years ago and they only transactions I ever make or with my debit card. I don't miss the ATMs, I rarely if ever even want to use one anymore because I don't carry cash nor do I do business with anyone who won't take debit cards. In fact, there was a going out of business sale for an indoor flea market in my town. The person who normally runs it had just gotten a card reader for his device. However, on this particular day someone else was behind the counter. When I went to pay, I thought in good faith the store worker also had access to that card reader. When he said he didn't have a card reader, I left my stuff and walked and on the way out, I told him I don't carry cash no more and he can keep the stuff. There's also a concession stand at one of our local parks and I only check at the start of the year to see if they take debit cards. So far the answer has been no the last two years I checked and I won't do business with cash only places and I tell them they should get a card reader because they get better business if they did. I further explain most people use plastic and don't carry cash no more. This is the digital age and anyone with a very old cash register needs to come up to the modern age where they won't do well

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Don't count on aps.............the same thing happened to me except it was the "sweetheart". Dad is 96 and he does anything she says and she has convinced him that I am out to get his money. The money is not the big deal, though this was clearly a sweetheart swindle - he just can't make executive decisions and can't understand money - zeros and amounts or anything.
Basically don't count on APS because your sister will jump up and down and say that this is what mom wants and mom will back her up. You might have to get a court order to see your mom, but what if she refuses (based on the brainwashing)?
Attorneys and caretakers generally follow the elder's wishes..............but..........if she has been brainwashed and says that her wishes are such and such, then they will go for that. Document everything because at probate time, maybe the judge will listen.
My dad is generally happy (even though the romance is fake) and I don't want to take that away from him.........basically a large amount of money will go to her since she took him out to change his trust. It might be too late, but at least talk to an elder attorney (specialist) because it "might" roll to criminal court if she does anything wrong - but the POA might allow her to do it. Read the POA carefully because that defines what she is allowed to do - she can't make up rules and block you.
So sorry - it's a mess when people believe her and not you....regards from Oregon

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POA does not have the authority to deny you visits with your mother without court order.

The best advice I can give you is to contact Adult Protective Services in the county in which your mother resides and file a formal complaint.

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I'm so sorry that you're going through this and can't offer advice, except to contact a lawyer. Sending you hugs!

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My sister brainwashed our mother into making her POA, and has since taken my mother and her money. How can I see her again?

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