My sister lives in another state and is very judgemental. She will come and stay in our home if we go for vacation, but she ends up staying for weeks/months. This drives my
husband crazy and puts me in the middle. My father has lived in our
home for 14 years and is 92. Any
suggestions how to handle this?
What's up with our siblings? It's either a weak, non-combative, self-centered sister like mine who only flies to see mom every 3-4 yrs, of course, when it's convenient to her schedule and my mom thinks she walks on water . . . OR an agressive, can't move her fanny out of the house visitor like Shepherd's. Did they miss out on some kind of gene or something? It's really hard for me to understand.
You're an absolute scream. Wish I could meet you in person.
SHEPHERD:
Your sister "viene por agregada y quiere salir por duena" (comes as a guest and tries to take over). Don't beat around the bush so much and give it to her straight. Ask her "Don't you have a home?" If she asks "Why do you ask?" Respond with "You're too judgmental, have overstayed your welcome, and are driving my husband crazy. I think it's time for you to go."
My supposedly future mother-in-law came from Puerto Rico to spend no more than 2 weeks with her daughter (my ex-fiancee). With Lisa's aid, she tried to stay indefinitely and finish taking over my home (she started through the kitchen). To make a long story short, they ganged up on me. On May 4th, six hours before I left to clear up my mind at the Kirkridge Retreat in Bangor, PA, I practically kicked them to the curb at the JFK JetBlue terminal.
With one last look of indignation on her face Lisa said "You know what? I don't need you. ... I was looking for a real man anyway." To which I responded "If I see one down the street, I'll send him over to you." Her mother said she'd do a "brujo" (spell) on me for what I had done to them. ... Right. Good luck with that.
Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and grab the bull by the horns to regain your self-respect. Forget the political correctness and the verbal pyrotechnics. If you don't fight for what's yours, don't complain when others take it away.
If a sister came into town to give me a vacation, I would be incredibly grateful.
I definitely would not be inclined to grab Emerald4Me's megaphone and boom out, "YOU... ARE...NOT...WELCOME...HERE!
I would angle for a polite compromise.